One of the expectations of joining the YouTube community, for me, was to learn how to use some basic video equipment. However, I've learned a ton more in just three months.

My name is Ryan Welton, and I am a YouTube junkie.

I create videos for the community about jazz, music, songwriting. My video structure is one part lesson, one part music. I've somehow managed 31 subscribers in just 90 days, garnered almost 20,000 page views, earned several comments of praise and many of ridicule.

It's the latter that's been the toughest aspect of YouTube celebrity to get used to, although I'm hardly a YouTube celebrity. However, one former Atlanta public-access television host is about to become a global star.

Her name is Alexyss Tylor, and she talks about sex.

She doesn't merely talk about sex; she preaches. Her public access show is called Vagina Power, and while I don't believe she appears on Comcast Ch. 25 on Wednesdays at 9 p.m. anymore, she really is about to become an international phenomenon via somebody's ingenius decision to post her work on YouTube.

She won't become famous because she talks about sex.

She's going to become a star because she is hilarious beyond hilarious.

The good folks on E!'s "The Soup" featured Tylor in their "The Mail Nurse" segment. That plug led me to do a little YouTube searching for our fair (er, foul) sex professor, and what I found not only stunned me, it has caused me to make the following proclamation.

Alexyss K. Tylor is officially the funniest person on the face of the planet.

It's not close. If Ms. Tylor wanted to do a national tour with this routine, she would be a millionaire many times over. While many believe this must be a viral video to promote something secondary, like a movie or a business of some sort, my friends and I can find no evidence that this isn't completely on the up and up.

Tylor's discussion of sex and the metaphors she uses and stories she tells are so over the top that they're hardly believable. The fact that the woman's unassuming, shy mother co-hosts the show is stunningly brilliant comedically, albeit unintended.

The more that I participate in the YouTube community, the more that I realize that I'm never destined for stardom. However, it also causes me to understand that it's the perfect conduit for discovering the undiscovered.

And, in my many months of wasting time on the glorious video community Web site, I have found nothing that has entertained me quite like Ms. Alexyss K. Tylor.

However, so that I may keep any friendships established through the creation of this blog, watching Ms. Tylor's fine work at your place of employment is sure to lead to your dismissal. It's foul, vulgar, mind-numbingly funny, oddly intellectual at a base level (the woman is no dummy) and, as I noted a billion times before -- brilliant.

Watch at your own risk.

But be sure to thank me for pointing the way.

Whether it's a movie, a moment, a piece of music, the written word -- there are many things that can inspire us. However, American Idol's quest to bring some happiness and necessities to ravaged parts of Africa and North America are to be welcomed in an industry full of cynics.

The hit FOX show has teamed up with multiple organizations, charities, companies, not to mention the millions who watch the show and participate by voting, to donate money for the purchase of goods and services to benefit truly hurting people.

Before the flag of cynicism is raised among you: I have no idea how much of Tuesday's donations, for which money will be donated for each contestant vote, in addition to many other gifts and grants, will actually go toward helping those devastated by war and poverty in Africa or Hurricane Katrina here in America.

Whether the money goes disproportionately toward administrative costs as opposed to needy Navajos in Arizona or kids in poverty-stricken Kentucky, as the show indicated, is beyond my knowlegde. And, I definitely think it would be an aboveboard move by the show's executives to disclose how the money will be used, specifically.

However, putting on an event like this -- Idol Gives Back -- was absolutely the right thing to do for a show that has reaped millions upon millions of dollars from the general public. For a show that has been as big a success as it has. And, for a show whose pop-culture influence is unmatched.

The spirit is right. The effort seems authentic, so good on Idol. This is some great karma for a show many of us hope lives on for quite awhile.

Neveretheless, the music isn't always inspirational. On Tuesday, our final six were to sing songs that inspired them in one way or another.

Two positives immediately stood out to me.

First, while it's no given that Melinda Doolittle will win, I firmly believe she's garnering a grip on the trophy. Barring a true shocker, she's a shoo-in for at least the finale.

While at times some of us have questioned whether her "What, me?" would prove annoying eventually, her performance Tuesday of Faith Hill's "There Will Come A Day" was tremendous, if not inspirational. Her ability to perform consistently at an uncharted level is stunning, whether it be AI or a live concert or somebody with 20 years of experience.

Her potential problem is that consistency can breed boredom.

Heck, every once in a while, the great ones have to stun you, and nothing stuns about Doolittle anymore. There really hasn't been a down performance, so by that logic, it's hard to say that there has been an up one, if you follow.

Melinda's strongest competition, I think, Jordin Sparks, took on "You Will Never Walk Alone," or some such. It's an old tune, and I personally thought she was flat for the first half of the song and tinny with some sheep-like vibrato in the second half.

However, Jordin has had some up and down performances. She's got a great look, terrific commercial appeal and should have no problem anytime too soon.

The question is, who else can really compete down the stretch?

I'd submit to you that it's Phil Stacey, my second "positive" for the night. The 29-year-old, with some Oklahoma roots I might add, has really stepped up the past couple of weeks with soulful renditions of country numbers. Last week, he did a Keith Urban tune, and this week, he performed Garth Brooks' ode to the victims of the Oklahoma City bombing, "The Change."

Now, before country haters start in on how they just hate the genre, neither song is really country. Keith Urban is a pop-rocker with a slight Australian twang, and a lot of what Garth Brooks did over his career is melodic, West Coast Country pop at worst. In fact, "The Change" is an inspirational song, very much akin to showstoppers like "And I Am Telling You."

Look at the lyrics:

And I hear them saying you'll never change things

And no matter what you do it's still the same thing

But it's not the world that I am changing

I do this so this world will know

That it will not change me

When paired with the pop melody, it's absolutely goosebump worthy.

And while Phil Stacey looks a tad like an alien and sometimes sounds like he's swallowing air while he sings, he really surprised. Great command of the stage. Big voice. Looked like he belongs.

I note this as a contrast to Melinda. While Melinda's performance really dwarfed all others, in my opinion, Phil's was such a surprise, such an improvement that I think he could ride some momentum, perhaps at another contestant's expense over the next couple of weeks.

He's what you call a sleeper.

Often times, it's not about who's the best but who shows the most improvement through the course of a competition, like this or like something in sports, perhaps, who ends up shocking everyone and winning. For the record, I don't think he can win ... at ... all.

However, to underestimate him right now, at least for the other contestants, would be a mistake, in much the same way that Elliot Yamin surprised folks last year. For the record, again, I think Elliot's voice is probably the best male voice the show has ever had.

He'll never be the biggest star, but holy mo, what a voice.

We're left with Blake Lewis, Chris Richardson and Lakisha. Look, it's quite possible Lewis has a fan base to carry him into a finale. However, even if this trio goes on to successful individual careers, they're just hard-pressed to match up well against Melinda, Jordin and Phil, right now, in this competition.

Lewis sang John Lennon's "Imagine," which has a line about "no religion, too," which makes me wonder if he could be at risk given the leap some people make about a person's own belief system and the songs he or she chooses. Perhaps he has alienated some by suggesting he's not religious.

In the Bible Belt, that doesn't play.

While Chris Richardson actually sounded pretty good on Eric Clapton's "Change The World," written by the great but sometimes very disposable Babyface, not only did he go first, which never looms well for performers, but he also sang the only mid-tempoed song of the night.

In my way of thinking, on a night centered around inspirational songs, ballads should rule the gala. By standing out, methinks he could be standing alone.

As for Lakisha, I've said it since Week 2 of the finals. In the range of great black, "big girl" singers, she's out of her depth. Doesn't come close to Jennifer Hudson, and while Fantasia isn't exactly a "big girl," Ki Ki (as she's called) doesn't come close to the Season 3 winner.

Lakisha did "I Believe," which was the winner's song that year, done by Fantasia (and written by Season 1 fourth-place finisher, Tamyra Gray). The problem with Jones since that second week is two-fold: She picks songs poorly, and she shouts.

It killed a potentially great run for Mandisa last season, and it will likely spell the end for Lakisha tomorrow. However, in a season of no surprises and very little inspiration, actually, we're due a grand comeback and a giant surprise, so who knows. Maybe she gets it going next week.

The only truth this show has ever produced is to expect the unexpected when it comes to results shows. Generally, the favorite goes on to win, but often, the order of elimination is completely topsy-turvy.

However, what I hope this week in Idol lore produces, beyond all else, was evidence that in a world of corporatism, cronyism and cynicism, the most successful reality show of all time actually stepped up as one of the good guys.

Hey, I did my part. 10 votes. Ms. Melinda Doolittle.

Alec Baldwin is a great actor. I'll write again so you know it's not merely hyperbole on my part.

Alec Baldwin is a great actor.

From his dramatic roles in "The Departed" and "Glengarry Glen Ross" to his more comedic fare like "State and Main," Baldwin is a vastly underrated performer, so much so that I am exponentially more likely to see a film if he's in it.

However, Alec Baldwin is under fire for supposedly being a terrible dad, and it could affect that acting career should the pop-cultural powers-who-be deem him unworthy of support.

I suppose, sooner or later, we would refocus our social frustration from those spouting racial epithets to something like this; however, the situation between Baldwin and his 11-year-old daughter makes me wonder if the mainstream media has collectively jumped the shark.

According to wikipedia, Baldwin's daughter and he were to have a scheduled phone call of some sort. She didn't answer, and so he left her the following message:

"You are a rude, thoughtless little pig. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being ... I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone."

I hope you'll allow me some latitude in terms of my general dark sense of humor, but my first thought was, "Well, is she a rude, thoughtless little pig?"

The rational part of my brain recognized that this was likely something that Baldwin is embarrassed about beyond any shame pop culture can heap on the guy. However, in terms of families and divorce and custody battles, this type of thing happens all the time.

Frankly, it reminds me of the adage, "You can pick your bride and your friends, but you can't pick your family."

Something like that.

The more I thought about the situation, the more I began to believe and firmly do now that whoever leaked this phone conversation is the real bad guy here. This 11-year-old little pig, er, girl would not be in the public spotlight to this extent, presumedly an unwanted appearance in said light, without the revelation of this phone call.

That person is likely actress Kim Basinger, which if true would likely violate a court order of some sort, turning the public berating of a little girl into a highly publicized Hollywood fight in which that 11-year-old is the pawn.

But, that's how nasty divorces work. This is nothing new.

On the other hand, Basinger's tactic -- to humiliate Baldwin publicly, which he did superbly himself privately -- is a precedent setter in terms of the battles we're likely to see in Hollywood down the road. I think Kim's manuever is a trend-setter, and we're likely to see divorces and custody battles get played out in the public eye more and more, not with rumor and innuendo but with MP3s and YouTube videos.

That's a reality celebrities have to face.

Heck, it's likely to seep into the private lives of thousands of Americans, some of whom will likely see this as an opportunity to publicly humiliate a spouse or parent with whom they're sparring.

Don't like Dad?

Make him look like an ass on MySpace.com

Will Mom not let you do what you want?

Post an embarrassing video of her on YouTube.

Now, we haven't heard calls yet for his NBC show "30 Rock" to be pulled off the air; however, man, it wouldn't surprise me. We've adopted the notion nowadays that any social blunder among A-through-C-listers must be career enders. There's no room in the penalty box; we must go for the execution.

The conspiracy-minded part of me, like with Imus, makes me think this whole event wouldn't be as trumped up if Baldwin himself weren't a stark, raving liberal -- a terrific, smart liberal, I might add.

Sure, his insults toward his daughter were probably much, but we don't know the context of the situation in full. Parents involved in divorce are undoubtedly under a ton of stress, making them do crazy, stupid things. Truly, I'd be more concerned or upset if he had berated her for being "too heavy," and, no, the pig comment doesn't count.

I would be more concerned if he had hit her, cerrtainly. Or molested her, definitely.

However, Baldwin said some mean things in the heat of the moment under a lot of stress. And, while it makes him look like a bad guy, it shouldn't, lest we throw the first stone.

We've all done it, and as we have all learned, you can't take words back. Our only choice is to apologize and work toward repairing and rebuilding those relationships.

As if this familial situation were any of our business, why in the hell would we not afford Alec Baldwin this much?

Nevertheless, it should serve as warning to everybody in public and private that, nowadays, those words might not only prove hurtful to somebody you love, they might also prove to be significantly embarrassing as soon as they're posted online.

This time of year is all about the NHL and NBA playoffs. Dallas' hockey team will fight for its hockey life Monday night in Vancouver, and I'm starting to think the Mavs' existence in the basketball postseason might not last more than a round.

Yep, No. 8 Golden State spanked Dallas 97-85 at the AAC in Big D Sunday night.

With the way the Warriors played, particularly Baron Davis, Dallas' playoff run might only last four games. G-State and Don Nelson are so in the heads of Mark Cuban, Avery Johnson and Dirk that it's embarrassing.

Point 1: Dallas starts a lineup other than the one that won them 67 games this season in order to play "small ball" with the Warriors.

Point 2: The Mavs get a run going both times Dirk sits, and Avery insists on bringing the big German dud back. Look, Dirk might be the MVP of the league, but Dwyane Wade was 100 percent right in saying the big German disappears when his team needs him most. I'm just saying that sometimes, it's OK to let Dirk have a rest. Heck, the entire team rested for basically the last month of the season; why not give Dirk some bench minutes while his team is hot?

Point 3: Mark Cuban starts whining about calls and gets his crazy Chucky look going, and his team emulates him. The Mavs would be better off if Cuban would watch the game from a box.

Point 4: Karma. Dallas could have been facing the Clippers in the first round. But, they pissed around and didn't even try against the Warriors in a 111-82 loss.

Point 5: Golden State only shot like 42 percent from the field tonight. The Warriors are in Dallas' collective heads.

Point 6: Porn star Jessie James was at the game rooting on the Warriors. Nothin' like a little motivation for, uh, possibly the entire team?

Look, Dallas must decide it's going to impose its will. Play like it did for the vast majority of the season. To decide the team is going to adjust its style to match Golden State's is a serious admission of weakness, not strategy.

For those who say it's only one game, I've got news for you. Golden State can win this series. Hell, they can sweep it. In fact, if Dallas approaches the rest of the series like they did Game 1, it will be a sweep or a five-game win for Nellie and the boys from the Bay Area.

My hope is that Dallas gets its proverbial crap together. They can. Whether they will or not is yet to be seen.

After many months, it seems issues I had been having with my RSS feed have been rectified. Truth is, I had no idea there had been problems. However, an aggregator with whom I have been working tipped me off to it.

The URL for my RSS is http://www.ryanwelton.com/rss.xml, should you have a client that works as an RSS reader.

Most of my week has been at the piano, at the Korg D1200 recorder, trying to get my songwriting on. What I've learned about the Idol song contest is basically that 30,000 entries were submitted and that they'll be using the actual demos for the purpose of voting, instead of doing re-productions of these tunes to put the amateurs and pros on the same footing.

I don't want to offend the songwriting establishment, but the process to create songs, particularly in Nashville, kind of bothers me to my core. For those of you who don't know, professional songwriters do not perform or play on their own tracks like 95 percent of the time when preparing them for a publisher or label.

The writers write and then hand it off to a demo house for sterilization, er, recording. To me, even if the performances aren't perfect, I'd rather hear the songwriter perform his or her own song. The notion of being able to write songs without being able to play an instrument, which is possible under the standard way of doing things in this industry, is off-putting to me.

Unfortunately, the general public isn't able to get past production in a lot of music. This is why Nelly Furtado, Fergie and many others are popular, and it's why I refer to their recordings as "production music," a genre unto itself.

Nevertheless, I am under no impression that I would be in the Top 20 anyway. Heck, if I had to guess where that tune I wrote would place in a competition with 30,000 entries, I'd say it would definitely make the Top 1,000 -- maybe even the Top 750.

... Speaking of Idol ...

While it was time for Sanjaya to be banished from Season 6, I have to just be blunt: This season is likely to be remembered for our little friend from Federal Way, Wash. Each year, there is one contestant who should have never been in the Top 12, and vocally it was Malakar.

However, folks have to realize that this is still a reality show, and given that I'm a connoisseur of all-things-reality, I would absolutely put this kid up for induction into the Reality Hall of Fame. First ballot. Immediate induction. In fact, if Idol ever has an all-stars season, this kid will be invited back. Promise.

Furthermore, if I were an executive at Nickelodeon, I would be brainstorming ideas and opportunities for Sanjaya. The kid will never sell a million records consistently, without the help of something novelty-oriented, but he is a gold mine, at least until his 15 minutes are completely used up.

... More songwriting ...

As I'm beefing up my songwriting portfolio, I'll be posting songs in the right-hand margin of this Web site, and I'll be posting them to my MySpace.com page. That can be found at http://www.myspace.com/ryanwelton. I am hoping this will happen often, and my request of anybody who visits is to let me know if/when they hear something they like.

... Women and guns ...

In light of the Virginia Tech tragedy this week, I mused to a friend that I'd prefer we just do away with guns, and I really do. Can't stand them. There's no real use for a handgun besides to kill another human being. However, my friend pointed out correctly that it's pretty much only men who abuse them at the massacre level.

So, her thought? Only let women have them.

I'm not totally against it. Hell, no really would mean no at that point, no?

... Presidential Picks ...

After watching Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton pander to the masses with their call for Don Imus' head two weeks ago, I've decided that it's pretty important that we avoid both of these candidates in 2008. I won't support either.

If Al Gore wants to run, that's another story.

However, for now, my support leans toward Rudy Giuliani. He's moderate. He's proven as a leader during a time of crisis. People genuinely respect the guy, and he strongly reminds me of FDR.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a New Yorker who served 12 years as president after the disastrous run of Herbert Hoover. In this case, Hoover is analagous to Bush, and Rudy to FDR.

Giuliani came to OKC this week to speak at the bombing memorial, and the colleague I noted in a previous blog entry who worked on the Clinton campaign said this was a guy she could get behind. That he sounded presidential.

I completely agree. There are a few issues surrounding his candidacy, but they're minor. For example, the firefighters in New York, at least at the leadership level, don't care for him. However, that kind of issue is almost always political.

I do think Rudy cheated on his wife or wives or mistresses, which is a political problem, at least if we're going to be fair to the hell Republicans put Clinton through in the late 1990s. I don't really care. In fact, I think most great men probably have a problem with fidelity because that command of power is probably attractive to women.

I wouldn't know because I am built more like Karl Rove.

... Game 7 ...

Dallas Stars are headed to Vancouver, B.C., for Game 7 of the first round of their NHL playoff series with the Canucks. For those of you who don't watch much sports, hockey Game 7s are typically more exciting than in just about any other sport, particularly if the game goes to overtime.

Hockey is such a glorious sport (at the pro level), and the league should be super ashamed with how it's been marketed the past five to 10 years.

... Game 1 ...

The Dallas Mavericks begin their two-month trek toward NBA immortality by winning, hopefully, a basketball title in June. But first, they'll have to get by Golden State, a team that has dominated them the past couple of years.

Anything less than the NBA championship is a disappointment for Dallas. However, there is no chance that this is going to be easy.

Really, anything more the Stars can do in the hockey playoffs, should they beat Vancouver on Monday, is a bonus. However, the Mavs' run this year really is sports life-and-death. After last year's meltdown in the finals, all we've thought about is "can't wait until we get that chance for redemption," and it's here.

One thing that might surprise you about me, given that you know I'm a giant Sooners fan. I would trade a win over Texas in college football this year for an NBA title for the Mavs. Yep. Same for a surprising Stanley Cup for the Stars.

And, I'd sit through back-to-back 0-12 football seasons if the Rangers could win just one World Series. So, if you think I'm pretty much a one-trick sports pony, you'd be wrong.

In fact, here's a quick, current ranking of pro teams, in terms of how I root:

1. Texas Rangers

2. Dallas Stars

3. Dallas Mavericks

4. Dallas Cowboys

5. L.A. Clippers

6. N.Y. Jets/Tennessee Titans (like them both)

7. L.A. Dodgers/N.Y Mets (like them both)

I am hesitant to post this only because it's not the best vocal in the world, but I was sober when I did it, which is a plus. Alas, for those of you who watch Idol, you probably know they have this songwriter's contest.

It's a first for AI, and the deadline is tomorrow. I had a song all ready to go, but at the last minute, I decided I didn't like it. I've watched the show since Season 2, and I know what the finale song is supposed to be in terms of lyric and music.

My first thought was: Do I stray from that format to show some originality?

After quite a bit of thinking, I decided that this contest was kinda akin to any other writing assignment. You have to know the audience.

The three things I aspired to do with the song is to write universally uplifting but not trite lyrics that may or may not reflect the journey one of these contestants goes through. My second goal in writing this song was to compose music that has a big, pop structure with a bridge and final chorus that could be complemented by a giant gospel choir, which the show always has. My final goal was to write something that didn't completely make me cringe.

For the most part I succeeded, not that I think I will be one of the 20 writers selected, just that I think I pretty much did the best I could do given the challenge.

So, here's a link to the song: click here to listen.

As for lyrics, they're posted below ...

"Dream Big"
c. 2007, Ryan Welton

Verse 1:
----------
Life is a chance
And chances are meant to take
God doesn't make mistakes
No, he don't ...

The voice in my head
Tugs at me constantly
What does it want from me?
oh, it says ...

Pre-Chorus:
------------
It says
Through it all
There will be mountains
You'll have to climb
And that gave me time
To figure out what I believe in
So I could get on with dreamin'

Chorus:
-------------
Even when you're feelin' small
Stand tall
Dream big, dream big
Before you learn to walk, you learn to crawl
Stand tall
Dream big, dream big
Dream big

Verse 2:
-------------
There's no guarantee
The odds just don't work that way
Noone is gonna say
That it'll ever be easy

But the voice in my head
It tugs at me constantly
Wants what is best for me
when it says ...

Pre-Chorus:
--------------
It says
Through it all
There will be mountains
You'll have to climb
And that gave me time
To figure out what I believe in
So I could get on with dreamin'


Chorus:
---------------
Even when you're feelin' small
Stand tall
Dream big, dream big
Before you learn to walk, you learn to crawl
Stand tall
Dream big, dream big
Dream big


Bridge:
----------------
Too many people stand on the shoulder
at the end of life's highway
Too many heroes never emerge
Because they live their lives afraid
Too many times I was beaten and broken
But I rose up anyway
Too much is made of tomorrow and not nearly enough of today ...


Chorus:
---------------
Even when you're feelin' small
Stand tall
Dream big, dream big
Before you learn to walk, you learn to crawl
Stand tall
Dream big, dream big
Dream big

Feel free to comment, ridicule, cajole or post links to your submissions.

I really liked Maroon 5's first major album, "Songs About Jane." However, if the first single from their new CD is any indication, I am ready to proclaim them the greatest funky white band on the planet.

The song is "Makes Me Wonder," and you can hear it on their MySpace page.

It's like something from Shalamar in the early 80s. Greatness. And, Justin Timberlake officially has major competition on his hands for the title of funkiest white boy in America. Adam Levine is every bit as solid as JT.

Watch the video below ...

I'm through with the whole Don Imus controversy in terms of this blog lest something new happens; however, I watched a documentary tonight about something at least akin to the situation.

Akin but different.

Barbara Kopple and Cecilia Peck directed Shut Up And Sing, a film documenting the controversy in 2003 surrounding the Dixie Chicks, comments lead singer Natalie Maines made at a London concert and the aftermath.

For those who are new to planet Earth, Texas-native Maines said she was ashamed that the President of the United States was from Texas at this British gig. The crowd chuckled, but then a blog of sorts -- FreeRepublic.com -- took a quote from The Guardian and turned it into a national controversy.

They got middle America incensed to the point that country radio had little choice but to abandon the group. I say they had little choice only because radio is solely a business; there is no expectation on my part that the public airwaves would be willing to stand on principle about anything.

I'm a dreamer, but I'm a realist.

However, this controversy turned nasty as these country music fans decided to destroy the band's CDs in public, protest their concerts, spout all sorts of vitriol against the trio and even threaten their lives.

Did I mention that this is a documentary, not some piece of Orwellian fiction?

Anybody who's known me for very long has heard me tell the story of meeting the Chicks in Plano at Jack Astor's. On a dare from a buddy and the courage several beers provide, I went up to three cute blondes in hopes of luring them into my spiderweb.

Long story short -- although I'm glad to tell the story to anybody who ever wants to hear it -- I was kind of an embarrassment. Hell, they weren't famous or anything, and I likely would have never known who they were except that Natalie tossed out the whole "Do you know who we are?" routine.

At the time, I thought it was cool to meet a rising star who happened to be very cute. Truth is, all three Chicks are lookers. However, in a surreal turn of events over the course of the next decade, the band became one of if not the biggest female act in the history of American music, and Natalie became, literally, one of my cultural heroes.

The film did a great job of documenting the event in terms of its place in pop culture history, but I would have liked to have seen a bit more of the affect it had on their families. I find it hard to believe that Charlie Robison -- who is a tremendous artist and songwriter in his own right -- and Adrian Pasdar, not to leave out the less famous Gareth McGuire, didn't have an opinion in the matter.

Robison is as country as it gets. Texas Country. My thought is that if country music fans and radio boycotted the Dixie Chicks, why didn't they boycott him? Well, to me, it shows the transparency of the anger displayed by the average yokel.

I don't want to bash Chicks haters too much because one of my best friends is among them. Now that he's married to a strong liberal woman, I hope his opinion has changed; however, he's living proof that not everybody who decided to destroy their CDs was a raving, redneck idiot.

Most are, though, and the triumph of the film, to me, was in bringing more life to their 2006 CD, "Taking The Long Way," which was one of the best CDs of the year, even though I was more partial to their more rootsy "Home."

I will freely admit that I own every Chicks CD, and my fandom became stronger because of the incident. They're brilliant musicians, brilliant writers and terrific citizens. The movie brought those points home awesomely.

Frankly, I think the movie is a must, must watch. I don't need to explain the difference between the Chicks' controversy and the Imus imbroglio, at least I hope I don't. However, they are quite similar in terms of what an organized group of extremists can do not necessarily to silence their targets but to damage them financially -- it's eco-social terrorism.

Dude, what a funny day.

My li'l nephew calls me "the dude" with much affection. I'm his li'l buddy, and he's a technical genius beyond his toddler years. I show him how to utilize a digital camcorder, and he goes nuts torturing family and friends by recording them during their weakest moments with the ability of a paparazzo going after Lindsey Lohan.

He's that good, and he practices his craft with an innocent grin on his beautifully innocent face.

That's funny.

However, as the brilliant comedian Harry Shearer noted on Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" tonight, the problem with Don Imus' barbs against the Rutgers' women's basketball team was that while funny trumps everything, everything else trumps "unfunny."

Dude, he nailed it.

Now, I don't know that this axiom works in every situation, but I do think it works here. A colleague who I respect tremendously (she's my age and worked for Clinton, which endears me toward her on two fronts) asked ME if I was surprised that Imus got fired.

Without hesitation I said, "No."

My explanation was brief: In this business, talent understand that if what they say causes advertisers to abandon sponsorship, for any reason, their existence becomes doomed.

You can blame political correctness. You can say that the advertisers were pressured unduly. You can make any argument you'd like; however, advertisers are allowed to make decisions to protect their companies and brand.

Look, it was Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn who attacked NBC and, I think, General Electric (?) for sponsoring an uncut version of "Schindler's List" because it was "too salacious." I suppose if the market powers who be had agreed with him, somebody would have been fired. However, the marketplace of ideas decided that his supposition was preposterous.

Nevertheless, I have a personal stake in this, one that I'll freely admit.

My sainted mother likes Imus. Likes watching him, I should say. She watches him every day and has even noted to me that "one day, somebody is gonna shoot that son of a gun," a statement she says jokingly, with an understanding that what he and his cohorts say is off-color and often offensive.

Imus is a regular part of her daily routine, something that brings her joy.

It's not that to her he's funny when he called scholar athletes some "nappy headed hos." She abhors speech that's unnecessarily mean toward anybody.

However, she knows that with Imus, that's what you got. He's like that every day, but the context of the things he says don't trump the good that the man does on other fronts. Beyond that, to her, he's generally funny.

My point is thus: To the people who watch him all the time, he's funny enough. To the people who only heard this comment, he ain't funny, both of which are legitimate opinions that underscore the polarized thoughts about Imus within the context of Shearer's commentary Friday night.

Funny trumps everything, but everything else trumps unfunny.

It's really an astute comment on Shearer's part.

That's why, to me, it's completely reasonable that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and anybody else with such sensible minds and hearts should go after Rush Limbaugh for the heartless, mean comments he made about Michael J. Fox during the 2006 election season, suggesting that he was feigning symptoms of Parkinson's to garner sympathy votes in important local elections.

It's reasonable that Michael Savage, who stops short of saying gays should be executed, should be dismissed from American airwaves.

Neither observation is funny in the slightest. To me, they're worse than anything Imus said. Sorry.

Savage's statements are so ridiculous, nobody gives them credit. However, Rush has an audience of millions and is respected by many in radio, therefore, where is the outrage every time he says something idiotic and unfunny?

Well, it turns out that the effort to oust Imus was quite concerted. Read this, an article that details the machinations behind the furor against Imus.

My bigger point is thus: Liberals should focus their efforts on those whose demise would actually be worthwhile to the beliefs we hold dear. From a political perspective, Imus actually did us more good than not. Rush brings nothing to the table for liberals, and his words are regularly more incendiary than anything Imus said.

So, is it a double standard? You bet.

Is it sad that sexist, racist banter dominates the airwaves?

My colleague asked me that in fewer words tonight, to which I said, "Uh, isn't that really the foundation of modern morning radio, well, at least for people who listen to anything besides religious broadcasts or NPR?"

Touche.

I'm a libertarian when it comes to free speech. I do NOT think there is an analogy to be made between good and bad interpretations of the second amendment and the first, as Olbermann made tonight. Sorry, Keith, I think the first amendment is absolutely absolute.

You can't shout fire in a crowded theater, unless there is a fire, but you should be able to say damned near everything else. Some folks have to learn to take a joke, and others have to recognize that what's not funny to them might be to somebody else. At that point, it becomes a matter of taste, and the market forces will dictate what happens to that morning show host.

If it were truly the masses who terminated Don Imus, I could accept it. However, it was a concerted, political effort, and it was an effort by my people, politically speaking, which I think would have been better focused against those whose agendas truly propagate hate.

It's another example of how we liberals sabotage ourselves.

Speaking of sabotage, it seems that former Idol contestant Paris Bennett has encouraged the show's watchers to vote for Sanjaya Malakar to demonstrate to the masses that the world's most popular television program has become "a joke."

And, to think I liked Princess P in Season 5.

She says Sanjaya represents Idol's slip into a pattern in which the show promotes the most popular instead of the most talented.

Excuse me?

The show IS a popularity contest, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. The fact that some of the contestants are more talented than others only partially plays into its results.

Truth is, Sanjaya isn't the worst "bad" contestant the show has had.

John Stevens. Bucky Courington. Scott Savol. Nikki McKibbin. Kevin Covais. They all come to mind.

How about Jasmine Trias, Camille Velasco and countless others?

It makes me not feel bad that Sanjaya is doing well in this Season 6 competition. First, it's not hurting Idol ratings. While they're down by 10 percent from last year, daylight saving time came four weeks early this year and no show can keep the numbers Idol has over the past five years.

While he's not nearly the singer that most of the other contestants are, he's still a 17-year-old kid with parents, a sister, friends and other relatives, all of whom love and support him.

So, I say more power to our little brown Idol friend who sings with a soft effeminate voice. He might not ever be on track to sell as many records as a Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood, but I'll be damned if I affirmatively participate in an effort to humiliate him further than he's willing to humiliate himself.

I know, it's a backward sort of compliment, but it's damned funny, no?

And, as we now know, funny trumps everything ... right?

I've finally got the Don Imus situation figured out -- and, boy, it's a much more complex issue than anybody would have you believe.

Sure, it's about racism, but it's also about money.

Yep, it's political, too.

Furthermore, there are huge ethical ramifications on any number of fronts.

But, first, a quick review of what actual damage is.

I've followed the Duke Lacrosse case for some time, and with the realization we all have now that those kids were innocent, we should be able to comprehend what real damage is. Those athletes, that Duke coach, that community -- they suffered actual damage.

Their lives are stained by the actions of the overly aggressive district attorney there in Durham, N.C., and the liar who accused them. Even though we all know they didn't rape that woman, there was enough conjecture about them still "being up to no good" that any reasonable argument could conclude that those men are stained for life, even with the exoneration.

This is actual damage.

What Don Imus said hurt the feelings of some scholar-athletes, their coaches, their families and friends and the community associated with New Jersey's state institution of higher learning. What he said awakened the sensibilities of many right-minded folk on the issue of race, hate speech and, frankly, free speech, and to be perfectly honest, everybody is a little bit right on in this scenario.

Those who suggest the left has criminalized or crucified Imus don't completely understand, I suppose, that even a fired Don Imus is a multi, multi-millionaire. He doesn't need to work. He's no longer a coke addict needing to keep up with this habit. He does do a tremendous, tremendous, unparalleled amount of work with sick children, which probably usurps a good bit of his funds, but he'll survive.

He suffered no actual damage. Sure, he lost his job, but you know what? He'll get another one, and any fans he has will flock to those airwaves.

Frankly, I never truly felt bad for those Rutgers athletes. Look, college athletes are some of the luckiest people on the planet. They have a talent of marginal worth outside of entertainment, and they get a free education. They're big girls, and to boot, they came within a few points of a national title.

Life's good.

Where Imus' words struck a sour chord with me is twofold: 1) in their relationship to a cultural stereotype about beauty and 2) in the context of their purpose.

On the first point, as I've written here just a couple days ago, women of color have societally been instructed for centuries, subtly albeit, how to keep their hair. That naturalness, that kink, that curl which is physically native to their physicality is too black for middle America. Over the decades, the most effective way for modern culture to encourage black women to assimilate is to belittle them.

Call them nappy-headed.

White culture is guilty, for sure, on this point. However, the hip-hop culture is totally guilty on the other half of the equation, the "hos" barb.

However, most of us under 40 are so attuned to pop culture, at least those of us who like hip-hop and rap, that the term "ho" doesn't bother us much at all. It's pretty innocuous in the big picture.

On the second point though, if I had heard Imus say these things, I would have thought, "That's pretty mean. What did those women do to you?"

This is where I think a lot of folks got fed up with Imus. His history has been such that this was just the tipping point in a career of insults, which honestly are the markings of all of national morning radio, public or private. It is what it is.

So, should he have lost his job?

Well, here's the deal. Talent on the radio or on TV, whether they're supposed to be funny or insightful, are subject to an often roaming community standard. What's acceptable today might not be tomorrow, and these folks have to be super savvy about that.

If Imus had called Hilary Clinton a nappy-headed ho after a particularly bad hair day, there's no way he would have gotten fired. It's not racial; it's the context. Hilary's a public figure. She's white. She's not that well-liked.

On the other hand, these basketball players are 19, 20 years old. Didn't do anything to anybody. They're primarily women of color, and being mean for the sake of being mean to more and more people is just a turn off. They pressure the company's advertisers, who then pressure the company, and then -- you bet -- he's fired.

That's the way it works.

However, this is also highly political, and Imus and that team are merely pawns.

Both Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are a couple of millionaires who never met a controversy they didn't like. The anger is disingenous, self-righteous and self-promoting, not to mention obvious. However, these guys have nothing on the hatchet job Republicans did on John Kerry in 2004.

Or on one of their own, John McCain, in 2000.

Republicans don't mind this a bit because Imus was pretty liberal in his leanings, and racists aren't exclusively conservative. I mean, what Rosie did in terms of mocking Asians was clearly racist; however, I'd point you to the roaming community standard. What nails one person to the cross won't necessarily kill another.

It's a dynamic situation.

Conservatives also don't mind this hub-bub because it really does paint Al and Jesse as a couple of race-baiting fools, when in actuality, they've done a ton of good in their day as well. Nobody is all bad. Oh, and as a bonus, this excitement takes our collective minds off a war.

Anybody hear of Divertor?

If you watch SNL, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

The problem is, from my perspective, the real issue here is free speech and the public airwaves. While Imus wasn't crucified, while he wasn't imprisoned, this controversy has all of a sudden injected life into a debate about what we can say and what we can't, which is a discussion we all lose every single freaking time.

Think I'm nuts? Here's how it works.

Today, we can't say "nappy-headed hos," and tomorrow, we can't refer to evangelicals as "crazy Christians." They in turn can't refer to Spanish as "ghetto language" any more (Mr. Gingrich), and we won't be allowed to render any negative opinions about the war.

This is a problem, a scary problem.

In all sincerity, the free market worked in this case. Imus lost his job through a completely legitimate process for a completely legitimate reason. However, by allowing this consequence to be rendered, we have opened our public airwaves not to nicer speech but to censorship, and with every fiber of my being, I'd rather live in a nasty, mean place with mean, cruel people over somewhere where I lived in fear of what I say.

We can be nice and be free all at the same time.

We're at the 1st intermission of Dallas vs. Vancouver, Game 1 of the NHL Playoffs, and the Stars are tied with the Canucks at 1-1. Dallas has played with quite a bit of fire so far, which I think is a good sign.

The best thing, for me, is getting to listen to Ralph Strangis and Daryl Reaugh, the BEST, absolute BEST hockey play-by-play duo in the business. I've got them on WBAP.com. Go Stars!

While I'm listening, an hour removed from seeing the gorgeous Haley Scarnato eliminated from Idol, I've got a few links for you, some articles I'm checkin' out myself.

Kathleen Parker writes that while what Don Imus said regarding Rutgers' hoops players was absolutely racist, all this hub-bub about it is a bit much, particularly considering the verbal anti-Semitic racism spewed by both Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson in the past.

I still see this as a slippery slope to the detriment of free speech, and oddly enough I am in agreeance with Rosie O'Donnell, who actually stuck up for Imus' right to speak like a fool if he chooses without worry of crucifixion.

Both Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama called for Imus' firing, which I think demonstrates what political monsters they are. I think it was a spineless move on their part, and I'll likely look for somebody else to support. Seriously. Political correctness at the expense of thought, logic, sensibility and reason is abhorrent.

Camille Paglia suggests that "man is too weak to permanently affect nature, which includes infinitely more than this tiny globe."

I tend to agree with her. The more I study global warming, the more I realize that not only is science not united on the subject, it's also steeped in politics from both sides. My honest hunch is that with the dramatic increase in global consumerism over the past 50 years and the lack of sound environmental policies and/or regulation among companies across Mother Earth, well, the game has changed.

I think it's possible that we have caused a slight but possibly deadly change to our very climate.

However, that is merely a hunch on my part, and to my taste, the claims of scientists that our planet is imperiled any time in the next 50 years is pretty spurious, about like all the brouhaha about the Year 2000, which was born of logical computer geeks, whose analyses I trust more than climatologists because the entirety of intellectual property regarding computers is available to computer scientists while only a fraction of knowledge regarding the planet's climate is available to climatologists.

I don't believe global warming is a "hoax," but let's just say I'm highly, highly skeptical, and I personally think Dems would be served well to be skeptical as well.

One more piece of required reading. Ryan Welton writes about payment systems and merchant gateways. Good stuff, and I'm told it's the most popular article on practicalecommerce.com -- yay!

That Ryan dude is a pretty good writer.

Thunderstorms and tornado warnings got in the way of my Idol watching tonight. Now, I did get to see tonight's episode, featuring the gorgeous Jennifer Lopez, but I had to wait out the bad weather and a few minutes on the treadmill.

Lightning knocked out the TV at 7:52 and didn't restore until 7:57, which means I did not get to hear Sanjaya Malakar.

Damned shame because I heard he was brilliant! Kidding. However, a very interesting column on msnbc.com this week suggests that Sanjaya's survival on Idol is actually a good thing.

And, I can see what the writer means. His survival means fans of the show have something outrageous to gab about all week in lieu of really great performances, and again tonight, none were great.

However, I do think the lightning that magnetized by Sony Wega briefly is a sign from the Idol gods that Sanjaya's time on Idol will end tomorrow night.

More fallout over Imus

Man, all this hub-bub about a guy who, to me, isn't that entertaining or relevant, at least in terms of pop culture. I watched the Rutgers press conference and found it to be much ado about nothing. We have collectively gone off the deep end of the political correctness cliff.

One of the Scarlet Knights players said that Imus' remarks completely ruined her experience of making it to the finals of the NCAA women's basketball tournament.

That's just stupid.

I have no doubt that being called a "ho" by some morning show host might tweak my feelings a bit. Personally, if I were them, I'd be more offended by the nappy-headed part of the barb. See, white society has spent more than a century telling black women how to be "less black."

Straighten your hair. Kill the curl.

I love it when black women in the public eye deign to go natural. Nevertheless, if we're looking for the real insulting part of this whole thing, it's in the term "nappy-headed."

However, two quick points:

1. If Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are going to make it their crusade to squash speech that insults black women, they need to start with rap music, which lyrically is typically more offensive than anything an old sourpuss like Imus said.


2. For me, this whole thing is a slippery slope. Free speech, even that which doesn't please Al and Jesse, is more valuable than any offense a good group of scholar athletes might take. Frankly, if we as a society cave to this, we'll be policing speech and ending careers everyday, and last I checked this was a country that values free speech about all else.

As for Tuesday's food:

For breakfast, I had a pair of breakfast sandwiches -- one egg and sausage on a croissant and the other egg and bacon on a croissant. Small sandwiches they were from Jason's Deli, and they were mmm, mmm good.

For lunch, I had a tuna salad sandwich on whole grain white bread (toasted), just tuna, a bit of tuna-salad spread and bread. I had that with a bowl of Progresso chicken corn chowder.

As a snack, I had an 80-cal glass of cocoa and a 210-cal bag of Chex mix.

After a 15-minute workout, I finished off the second half of my bowl of chili with part of a baked potato in it. It was really, really good the day after, and I highly recommend just crumbling up the baked potato and mashing it into the chili. Good.

Then, check this, I microwaved a piece of pumpkin pie (a small piece) and put it on top of a bowl of fresh fruit. Greatness.

I'm likely to have another 80-cal cup of cocoa while I'm watching Colorado-Los Angeles on mlb.tv. Love listening to Vin Scully, and watching the Dodgers kind of fulfills my secret wish to live in Los Angeles, where I someday hope to be, honestly.

Hell, I'd like to visit, at least.

On a final note

My new desktop wallpaper is of Maria Menounos, who I think might be the prettiest woman on Earth. Might be.

I've got two things on the brain today: Don Imus and my diet.

No, not diet as in a cutting back of food intake, but I'm talking about a general accounting for what I eat.

Although it does occur to me that Imus is a skinny dude.

Nonetheless, Imus has been suspended for a couple of weeks by CBS Radio and NBC for a racially insensitive remark. Specifically, Imus referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos." Is that how you spell "ho"?

Anyway, Al Sharpton called for his firing and even told him such during a radio appearance on Monday. However, Sharpton's crusade isn't against Imus; it's against the FCC.

I sorta agree with Sharpton. His argument is that FCC-regulated stations shouldn't tolerate nonsense like what Imus spewed. The unfortunate part is that Imus really is a good dude, and the context in which he called the Rutgers players what he called them wasn't malicious.

There are truly bigger sociological fish to fry in terms of racial progress. To me, while Imus' punishment is deserved, it's also pretty much a waste of time for Sharpton to have pursued it.

Quick Aside: I love MLB.tv. I am the proud owner of an MLB.tv account. Premium, baby, and I downloaded Mosaic. I can't even begin to delineate all the great things about Mosaic.

• Running scorecard


• Fantasy alerts


• 700K video


• Archived games


• Condensed games


• The ability to watch six games at once

I'm like a kid in a candy store. I think my game for the evening will be Cincinnati vs. Arizona.

Now for the diet. Here's what I ate today:

• Flax-seed peanut butter on whole grain toast


• Two one-slice chicken spread sandwiches


• Bowl of Progresso vegetable soup


• Mini cup of Chicken of the Sea tuna teriyaki


• Crumbs from the bottom of a bag of Lay's Sour Cream & Onion


• Salad with spring mix, spinach, cauliflower, carrots and broccoli and topped with a 1.5-tbsp dollop of Miracle Whip


• .5 baked potato with salt and pepper


• .5 bowl of Campbell's Roadhouse beef and bean chili


• Bowl of fruit, pieces include: 2 pineapple, 2 apple, 2 cantaloupe, 2 green melon, 5 grapes

No exercise per se today. I'm about to clean up the house some though. Hopefully, I'll do 15 or 30 minutes in the morning.

Gotta get back to the great game.

Seriously. Enough of the cold weather in middle America. It's time for baseball, 75-degree days and severe weather. This winter crap has got to go.

Hell is not supremely hot. It is supremely cold.

First and foremost, I got to see family this weekend, which is always good. As family get-togethers do, ours evolves from how-is-it-going conversation to the hot topics of the day.

1. Bill O'Reilly vs. Geraldo Rivera on FOX. In a nutshell, some young people were killed by a drunken driver, and that drunken driver happened to be an illegal immigrant with priors but without the deportation that should have happened after each previous offense. What makes it worse is that the previous offenses were alcohol-related.

So, Billo has Geraldo on to discuss the situation in Virginia Beach. O'Reilly's argument is that the tragedy there involving the car crash underscores how bad the illegal immigration problem has become, and Rivera maintains that this is an issue about drunken driving more than it is illegal immigration.

Bottom line: O'Reilly plays to the easily manipulated middle-class crowd not with logic but with emotion. For him to say that this tragedy is an immigration issue would be like saying it were a prostutition issue if the drunken driver had been a whore.

It's illogical, and unfortunately O'Reilly's followers haven't mastered the rules of logical argument. While I'm not the biggest Geraldo fan in the world, I do respect the guy immensely on many fronts, particularly this one, in which he was 100 billion percent right on.

It's not that illegal immigration isn't a problem; I'd say it is, just not to the extent the right would have you believe. I'd also say the drunken driver in this case should have been deported after the first offense. However, to turn this tragedy into a statement about illegal immigration is illogical, cheap and offensive, and it truly underscores just what a bad guy O'Reilly is. A bitter, bad person.

2. Songwriters. There was some discussion about disposable versus indisposable songwriters. While I really like a lot of what Diane Warren and David Foster have written over the years, their music is almost completely disposable. I'm not sure how to quantify that except by saying that it's disposable.

Over the years, I have found much more musical pleasure by experimenting with independent music, with stuff that's a bit edgier, with stuff that is mainstream but not too mainstream. If you'd like an example of somebody whose songwriting is indisposable, listen to Ryan Adams' song from 2005, "Meadowlake Street."

Listen to Laura Nyro's classic CD "New York Tendaberry."

Listen to Carole King's "Tapestry."

Experiment. Get a subscription to Yahoo! Music Engine or Rhapsody. It's worth it if you're a music fan, not only quantitatively but qualitatitively.

3. Dudes and crying. My dad was a water faucet, but the rest of my family just abhors crying of any sort. Male or female, they see it as weak and consistently make fun of it. So, we're talking about this at dinner, and I realized how different I am from most of my family although I didn't really mention it considering my take is so vastly different from theirs.

I not only find crying to be healthy. I think it's valuable to anybody who does anything creative. Personally, I can turn it on and off with ease, but I'm a highly emotional individual who happens to also be creative. It's a recipe for tears every time, although I'm no sap.

I'd go so far as to say I feel bad for people who look down on crying, in general, as a means of personal emotional release because, to me, it's a part of the whole of human experience. It's also a huge stress reliever, a cathartic way to just get out a lot of internal nonsense. To completely bottle up emotions is a recipe for a heart attack or stroke.

It's pathetic that society frowns upon that so much.

Those were the big issues of the weekend. As we move into what I hope will be more of a springtime pattern, I'm adjusting my goals and efforts toward shedding another 10 pounds or so by Memorial Day, and to that end, I'm going to use this blog to keep myself honest.

I'm going to document what I eat and how much I exercise.

For example, today I had:

• coffee for breakfast


• 2-piece original fried chicken dinner with mashed potatoes, gravy, cole slaw and a biscuit from KFC for lunch


• 2 8-oz glasses of RC


• 5 pieces of Hershey's miniatures


• 1 popsicle


• a tin of sardines in water after working out for 15 minutes on the treadmill


• a salad with romaine lettuce, baby spinach, broccoli, carrots and cauliflower, topped with a dollop of Miracle Whip, which is really underrated as a dressing for greens


• a bowl of Progressive chicken, cheese enchilada soup

For the next three weeks, I am going to document what I eat and when and how much I work out in hopes that I manifest the truth about my habits in black and white. Furthermore, I hope a kind soul out there with knowledge (Richard?) will evaluate what I ingest and offer advice.

One of my brothers swears by Hydroxy Cut to help him, and I've got some in the fridge. However, I'm not taking anything supplemental until I evaluate my diet over the next three weeks. Now, it won't be a true free-for-all in that I'm going to try to eat smart but not deprive myself.

I'll have dessert but will try not to pig out just as I try every day not to pig out. The difference for these first three weeks is that I will allow myself to fail if I absolutely can't withstand the temptation.

I'll try to keep the alcohol intake to a minimum. My brother bought me a six-pack of Bass Ale for winning our NCAA hoops tourney challenge, but that beer is so good, I'll probably just have one at a time over six occasions.

Movies watched over the weekend:

1. "Swimming Pool" ... grade: A. I've seen this one twice now. Loved it.

2. "Borat" ... grade: A-. I've seen it three times now. Liked it a lot, although I'll admit it's silly.

3. "Talladega Nights" ... grade: A-. Really, really enjoyable.

4. "The Departed" ... grade: UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE. One of the best movies I've ever seen, period. It's a bad-ass guy movie. Can't recommend it enough.

While America got it way, way wrong on Idol this week, sending Gina Glocksen home after a solid rendition of Charlie Chaplin's classic, "Smile," Haley Scarnato is still alive and well.

My friends, is she the second hottest Idol finalist ever?

Ah, do I smell a Top 5?

Top 5 Hottest Idol Finalists

5. Kim Caldwell. It's pretty well-accepted that she, Trenyce and Corey Clark engaged in a threesome on the Idol compound, which I think is a disgrace! Well, if by disgrace you mean AWESOME!


4. Kellie Pickler. She already had a perfect ass. Now, she has the perfect store-bought boobs!


3. Haley Scarnato. She has a very innocent, understated presence while at the same time being really nice to look at. You can tell she is very insecure about being up there, frightened almost at what the judges will say and America will think, but it's darned near endearing. She's the one contestant my male friends and I discuss each week.


2. Kelly Clarkson. She's looking a little chunky nowadays, but she wasn't all skin and bones when she debuted in 2002. Really a cute girl.


1. Katharine McPhee. By a mile. Gorgeous, and I know that I'm officially a stalker (*kidding*) when my buddy T sends me random photos of McPhee. Anybody knows me knows that's my girl right there.

I should note in all seriousness that I think Jordin Sparks is moving into the catbird's seat slowly but surely in this competition. Melinda is technically great but is starting to remind me of Tamyra Gray and LaToya London. We'll see.

A friend of mine posted a comment to my thoughts about perceptions of single people in corporate America per a conversation I overheard last week. My premise, based on the conversation I heard, in which I took no part, was that in much of corporate America, singles get the shaft.

To be more specific, I should say "unmarried" folk because there are many couples who never marry, which actually is probably more appealing to me than marriage itself. I come from the Oprah-Stedman school of relationships. Personally, I think there is a ton of value in marriage; however, I don't feel this spiritual obligation to marry the woman I hook up with if she doesn't, although I probably should. I can be totally happy though outside of the construct of marriage.

But this isn't about me at all.

I was clear to note in my post that this so-called discrimination did not include me, and it really never has. It's possible that I just don't realize it. It's possible that I'm really much too easy going to care. However, amateur sociology is quite the hobby of mine, and I am mildly aware of some of the research. I'm just introducing some points. It could have been about midgets or albinos.

Even if I have never really suffered any discrimination for being a single person, I recognize that single people basically have to work harder than married counterparts to achieve the same things in life, particularly as they pertain to just maintaining. Keeping the house clean. Running errands.

She posted a comment inferring that the married-people argument pertains to married people with children, which is the ultimate badge of honor in conservative America -- to be married with children. Just like there is discrimination against the single person, there is definitely some level of discrimination against married couples who choose not to have children.

"Why aren't you having children? Is something wrong?"

"Awww, you're not able. That's too bad."

Anyway, long story short, my musings have nothing to do with children. I'm quite aware of how much work they require. Lucky you. However, I also don't find it necessarily an honorable trait to be a parent for the sake merely of being a parent, which is actually something many Americans actually believe.

Frankly, there are many parents who, ideally, would have had vasectomies or tied tubes in their younger years.

On the other hand, I do find it to be honorable and necessary to generally have my shit together. My very Virgo nature requires that, like I noted in the previous post, that I stay on top of things. Furthermore, I am completely guilty of looking down on myself and others when they don't have their p's and q's in order. I am way harder on myself though than anyone.

Nevertheless, I found a couple of links for folks to check out on the subject:

Site 1

Site 2

It's not a subject I'm passionate about -- being single -- even though it might seem so via this and the other post. However, the conversation those folks were having got me to thinking about how annoyed I get when married folk disrespect my time by assuming mine is freer or less valuable/productive than theirs just because I'm single.

"Dude, can you stay and do x, y and z. I've got to go pick up my kid."

"Hey, man, what do you mean you're busy this weekend? What do YOU have going on?"

That is merely a major, major pet peeve of mine, and the evidence ultimately suggests that my perception is probably supported empirically. It's one of many issues the growing population of singles face; however, these I note are likely the least important of those issues. They're mere annoyances.

And, lest married folk think those issues don't affect them, let me remind you that you're one affair, one heart attack, one car crash, one plane crash, a cancer death, a random murder, a stroke, a tragic accident, etc., away from joining that growing single population.

Truth is, issues of inequity really affect us all at some level. I'm fortunate that it hasn't affected me, but it doesn't change the fact that it's actually real. There are definitely bigger societal issues out there; however, the conversation I overheard didn't pertain to global warming or world hunger. It dealt with this, and it inspired me in a way only a blogger could be inspired -- and that would be mildly with the knowledge that, damnit, I haven't posted anything today.

OK, I entered three NCAA men's bracket competitions this year and only won one of them.

I picked seven of eight Elite 8 teams, three of four Final 4 teams, the championship game and the winner. While I can see not beating out the 72,000 people ahead of me on ESPN.com, where I finished in the 97.9th percentile, I am pretty shocked I didn't win the office pool, even if it was against 71 other people.

I wasn't even in the final five.

My theory about these NCAA tourney brackets has always been thus: If you pick the champion and are the only one to pick the champ, then you win. No questions asked.

If there were seven submissions with Florida as champ, then you should look to see who had the Buckeyes in the finale. If there were none, then you win because you had Florida-Ohio State.

If three have Florida-Ohio State, then you look at who has what in the Elite 8. Then the Sweet 16. So on and so on.

Scoring should be done backward until a winner is declared because the point of submitting brackets is to try to come as close as possible to picking the champ.

I not only picked the champ. I picked their opponent.

I picked three of the final four, and -- heck -- even my buddy K, whose bracket I picked for him, didn't win his bracket. However, he came in second, losing to a guy who had virtually the same bracket with like one difference in the early rounds.

I wasn't even in the final five at work.

Truth is, the most fun competition I have each year come tourney time is with my two brothers. We play for a 12-pack of our favorite beverage, and I won that handily ... but not as handily as you might think. Truth is, this year's bracket went mostly to form.

It was tight until last Saturday, when Georgetown fell and Florida beat the Bruins.

As for the beverage? Tommyknocker Maple Nut Brown Ale

Them's the spoils of winning our friendly family competition, but the bragging rights are golden until 2008. And, as for 2008, I think I'll save my dollar and skip those office pools.

If I didn't even finish in the Top 5 this year, I ain't ever gonna win it. Fo sho.

A Texas Country artist named Stoney LaRue, a guy with Stillwater roots, is having success with a tune called "Oklahoma Breakdown," which I heard on the radio coming home from work late last week.

I thought, "What the hell? This is Mike Hosty?"

Nope, but his tune is getting covered, and I think that's awesome. Hosty is to Norman, Okla., what Robert Earl Keen was to College Station, kind of Woody Guthrie with a massive sense of humor and a deep understanding of what it is to be an Oklahoman. Plus, the music is generally brilliant.

Nevertheless, here's to hoping this portends big things for the bard of The Deli.

And, hell, Stoney's version is pretty good, too ... but, for those of you who haven't been introduced to the greatness of the Hosty Duo, check out the video:

Man, it's amazing what one can get done on Sunday when errands are out of the way by the end of the day on Saturday.

I've got several articles in the queue and some Web work for my No. 1 client to finish, and I just need to get my p's and q's together for the week. While doing so, I listened to OU beat Texas in Austin (baseball) for the first time in 10 years, 5-2.

I also listened to the Martinsville race on the radio. Yep, NASCAR. It got me to thinking about the sport's demographics ... again. While NASCAR is America's No. 1 sport in terms of fans, it's still stereotyped terribly unfairly by people who fancy themselves to be intellectually elite, although that too is a pretty hefty stereotype.

Well, Google Answers had some links to some interesting statistics, which all support my contention that the income base of the average NASCAR fan is way higher on average than most folks would believe. Even if it's still a working-class sport at its origin, the folks who attend NASCAR races are no more working class as a percentage of the whole than who attend NFL, NBA, MLB or NHL games, I assure you.

Heck, I've attended everything but a NASCAR race, and the only thing that keeps me from one of those is the crowd ... as in how big it is. I can deal with 75,000 people at an OU game, but 300,000 people is way too much for me.

It's funny, I think about the folks who dress up in jerseys and OU shirts and all that garb to watch the Sooners play, and I wonder why people make fun of NASCAR fans for showing up in the garb of their favorite driver. Isn't it the same thing? I assure you that I see as many missing teeth at an OU game than one would at a NASCAR event. Hell, at the softball game on Saturday, there was an old dude in overalls who looked like he was dressed for Hee Haw.

The PRN and MRN broadcasts of NASCAR are just so well done, so exciting, and they don't require that I invest my time watching the race. I can just keep an ear on it.

So, baseball and NASCAR. That's what's been on this afternoon.

Now that I'm writing this li'l post, I opened up my iTunes podcasts and decided to re-listen to a Fresh Air NPR episode from this week, when Terry Gross interviewed a credit card expert and Harvard law professor named Elizabeth Warren.

This woman (Warren) has the most soothing voice I have ever heard. If she were a pastor, I would attend her church. If she were a dictator, I could be her subject. Her sex slave. Whatever. Her voice has me completely hypnotized. I'm seriously considering listening to this again.

If you ever watch the Food Network, you know how soothing Ina Garten's voice can be. Warren's is more soothing, but perhaps not as soothing as the ultimate soothing voice ... Bob Ross.

Fluffy little clouds. Repeat after me. Fluffy green cup of Kool Aid.

*** From Wikipedia about Bob Ross: Ross was spoofed on the Fox television show Family Guy. In the opening of the second season episode "Fifteen Minutes of Shame," he paints a bush and tells the viewer, "We're just gonna put a happy little bush down in this corner, and that'll just be our little secret. But if you tell anybody that bush is there, I will come to your house and I will cut you!"

I can't really top that line, and -- frankly -- I'm too buzzed from listening to this professor woman.