For those of you who are too young to remember the Dave Clark Five, welcome to most of the world. I don't remember them at all.

One listen, and you think you're hearing the Beatles. However, DC5 fans are a rabid, loyal lot, and they can offer a billion reasons they were as good or better than those boys from Liverpool.

Of course, the reason I mention the band is because their lead singer, Mike Smith, died this week from complications of pneumonia. He had been paralyzed a few years back in a fall, and I think he had been in care somewhere ever since.

So, I thought: Hey, time for a quick history lesson. Here's what you need to know about the Dave Clark Five to come off like a pro:

- Their first big hit was "Glad All Over," and it hit American charts soon after the Beatles did in 1964.

- The band is named after its drummer. They would set up on stage with the drums out front and Mike Smith off to the side.

- There is a ton of debate as to whether Dave Clark actually played on the band's records. The band says absolutely; some historians say otherwise.

- Their biggest chart hit in America was "Over and Over," which hit No. 1. I do believe it was their only No. 1 in the states.

- The Dave Clark Five is now really the Dave Clark Three, as sax player Denis Payton died in December.

- Their anthem "Glad All Over" is kind of a fight song for the Blackpool football club.

And it's a happy song, so I'll pop a little video of it here in honor of the late, great Mike Smith.

A couple of days ago, regular RyanWelton.com reader Toad described the state of music in 2008 as something related to polished doo-doo.

That's a fair assessment relative to what is being pushed by corporations into stores and onto radio stations. In the interest of full disclosure, I listen to mainstream radio to hear what's playing, not because I get general enjoyment from it. Part of my mission with this blog is to be able to expound upon music trends, and without listening to the radio, I can't really be a reliable resource for that information.

In a nutshell, my assessment is this: Our collective tastes have degraded, primarily due to an increasing resignation among critics that anything upon anything can be music and, therefore, be art. Furthermore, the integration of television and Internet with music combined with the rising influence of tweens relative to purchasing power is a virtual death knell for great music on the radio.

In the 1970s, pop radio was the environment for kids 14 to 19. Today it's the place for kids from 9 to 14. It's an observation, and I could be wrong about this. However, it seems to me that kids closer to college age probably get most of their music online.

Not that most 16-year-olds have great taste in music, but those of us in our 30s and 40s are the ones who have to suffer anytime we turn on the radio, which usually only happens these days when we're in the car. But we grew up with great, great 1970s and 1980s music, some of the best songs ever written. And that kids would want (actually WANT) to listen to Miley Cyrus albums indicates to me that kids these days have no idea how fun it is to be a kid -- a rambunctious, rebellious teenager.

However, this rant isn't about how to force teens and, thus, the mass market to change collective tastes. This is about helping YOU, the fair ryanwelton.com visitor, to discover great new music on a regular basis.

It doesn't matter what kind of music you listen to, either. The process is the same.

First and foremost, you have to subscribe to Rhapsody or a service like it. For $13, I can listen to almost anything: Individual songs, full albums, anything. Roughly 95 percent of all established artists have deals with Rhapsody to include their work.

Secondly, you should become a regular visitor to MetaCritic's music section. MetaCritic is a site that gathers critical opinion about all sorts of media, sorting it in a way that consumers can get a sneak-peek at those opinions.

Part of the process of reviewing the notes on this site is in deciding which publications fit your tastes best. However, MetaCritic is great in organizing information in such a way that music lovers can focus on the best-reviewed material out there.

Lastly and most important: Music lovers have to delve through the trash to find treasure. No matter how you gather information about new music, you have to listen to albums from people you have never heard of in order to discover new gems. Most every great song and album I have discovered in the past three or four years has come from a lengthy process of trial and error.

On Rhapsody, once you find something or somebody you like, you should refer to categories such as "similar artists" to expand your musical horizons. Your obligation at that point, I'd submit, is to tell other folks when you find a gem.

Hell, I know I do enough of that!

To say that all music nowadays is crap is fine. You know, whatever. There is a ton of truth in it; however, there are more singer-songwriters, more serious artists than ever before. It is a statistical, quantifiable fact.

The process to discover that music, however, is totally the onus of the consumer. Radio won't do it for you. Corporations won't. VH1 and MTV won't.

It's on us.

Boy, the Billboard charts get less action than Clay Aiken, and that's saying something.

Most of the hits pretty much keep their positions, except a handful of big movers. Both Jordin Sparks and Ray J move up big this week, respectively, with "No Air" and "Sexy Can I." The former moved up 10 to No. 13, and the latter moved up 11 to No. 18.

I don't have a problem with either song, like I noted last week. In fact, I kinda dig 'em.

However, the two giant movers this week are polished turds, as Toad so aptly called most of today's hit music. Moving from No. 100 all the way to No. 28 is Flo Rida with Timbaland and a song called "Elevator." I call it a song only because I don't feel like really letting loose on it.

It stuns me beyond belief that anybody could listen to this. And to think, our parents had a problem with what we listened to. Ha! This is beyond terrible. OK, I said it.

And then moving from No. 57 to 34 is Mariah Carey with "Touch My Body." The chords and the groove prove quite interesting, but the song's writers decided to give up on melody completely. It's really just a polished turd.

Where's the hope for mankind? It's in Sara Bareilles, whose tune "Love Song" climbs to No. 4 this week. If you have lost all faith in pop music, this should bring you back. What a great song. I love this chick.

One of the frustrating things about discussing American Idol with other people who watch is that this show makes us all equal relative to technical music criticism.

I struggle to not play the I'm-a-musician-and-you're-not card.

But I'll be honest. I don't think any of the Idol women are worth a damn. There is not one great voice in the bunch, not even the Irish chick (Carly Smithson) upon whom MCA dumped $2.5 million.

Asia'h Epperson, who I like generally, made a costly mistake tonight in singing Eric Carmen's "All By Myself."

First, people: Quit calling this Celine's record. Eric Carmen took it to No. 1, but only after he adapted it from the music of Sergei Rachmaninoff. This is a classic, classic song, derived from a classical piece, and for it to be tainted by the supremely overrated Celine Dion is a shame.

Secondly, people: This song should be retired from Idol history because only one person has done it justice, LaToya London. Not only did she do it justice, she did it better than anybody has ever done it, including Carmen, the hitmaker.

To me, that's the difference in Idol four years ago and today. The vocal talent just isn't there today. Season 3 was the real deal. That Jennifer Hudson and London were in the same Top 12 emphasizes how good that season was, and while I preferred Hudson, LaToya was the best singer consistently all season.

Sigh. That's the way this show goes, but I grow more and more frustrated each week and each season with the degradation in talent. While I know Randy Jackson is a "musician" and Paula Abdul is a "singer," for the life of me, I can't figure out how Simon Cowell, the businessman, ended up with the best ear of the three.

I'm being facetious in all but one way. Simon absolutely has the best ear among the judges. Sure, it's subjective. However, when listening to the dudes last night, it's clear who the best singer is, by a mile, bar none: David Archuleta. I couldn't give a deuce less if he wins. I'm not picking up a phone for him. I am telling you, having been an active musician for 30-some-odd years that he has the best pipes of the bunch.

Take that for what it's worth. Damn, I played that musician card.

I would also say that Chikezie, Robbie Carrico and David Hernandez have potential, adding that Danny Noriega, to me, is a super sleeper. With some work, I think he could be phenomenal. But aside from that observation, musically, it will not only be hard for them to keep up with Archuleta, it will be tougher for them to live up to the history of this show.

There has been only a handful of great male singers on this show, one of which is Clay Aiken, who I can't stand to listen to, personally, but who I acknowledge has a terrific vocal instrument. Chris Daughtry is another, and he's Idol's first legitimate rock star. To be fair, Bo Bice's voice is actually very solid, too, even though he's had not nearly the amount of success he had hoped for.

Personally, for me, I've always thought Elliott Yamin is the best male singer the show has produced.

But every other guy in every other season of Idol has been average to below average vocally. I mean to the point of downright bad.

Yet the real comparative history all Idol contestants have to battle is that set by the show's female contestants. And from Kelly Clarkson to Carrie Underwood, to LaToya London and the great Jennifer Hudson, if you can't do it like they do it, it's not really even worth discussing.

Archuleta is in the conversation as of now.

But there simply isn't one female in this bunch even worth whispering about at this point. So, do you want to know who was the best of the bunch tonight?

None of them. Same as last week.

Or perhaps it should be LaToya London, brought back from the Idol dead to do "All By Myself" one more time in hopes of shaming any and all future contestants from even considering it.

For the past couple of weeks, when asked who I thought brought it and who left it on American Idol, I've consistently said "the kid" as my pick to beat.

The kid is David Archuleta, and after Tuesday night's rendition of John Lennon's "Imagine," I suspect all those who shrugged when I issued those sentiments will understand why I think he's the favorite to win Idol Season 7.

In fact, I think his performance was not only the first "moment" of the season, I think it was comparable to Carrie Underwood's "Alone" performance in Season 4, the one in which Simon Cowell proclaimed that she would win the title and sell more records than any other Idol in history. It's probably more accurate, spatially, to compare it to LaToya London singing "All By Myself" in Season 3.

Here's the deal with "the kid" though. Not only do I think David Archuleta wins American Idol, I think he becomes the show's first legitimate male pop star.

He'll do Broadway. He'll have a legitimate hit record on mainstream radio. He'll be on TV. He is essentially a perfect pop star, and here's why I think this competition is o-v-e-r.

1. He will dominate the tween and teen vote. Tweens and teens will vote a billion times for him. One look at DialIdol.com tonight, and I saw that David had a 30 share while second place had like a 7. Unless somebody from the girls' side of things picks it up and fast, David is going to build up an insurmountable edge in teenybopper girls.

2. He will win the grandmama vote. Grandmamas like good voices, good personalities and clean-cut kids. The Kid's got it all in that regard.

3. He will at least partially pick up the musician vote. Yes, Jason Castro can play a guitar, although it's unfortunate he's yet been able to tune it. And, yes, David Cook can play the chords from Free's "All Right Now."

However, Idol is still a singer's competition, and David Archuleta is far and away the best male singer. Based on all that I've heard, he's far and away the one singer I'd pick to work with, to record a demo for me, etc.

What's scary is that it's early.

Fact is, the reason Archuleta didn't sing the first verse to "Imagine" is because it referenced the notion that there is no heaven and hell. David's family is uber-religious, and that doesn't bug me one iota, nor does it sway me toward his camp relative to the show.

However, the way he handled the question from the judges was brilliant, focusing on the positive instead of making it a point to preach to 33 million people, which would have been an enormous turn off to voters. So, if I could add a No. 4 to my list, I'd note that David's obviously a savvy kid. He's been in this parade before.

Now, if I didn't review everyone else this week, it's because THE story when you wake up tomorrow will center on Archuleta. And what could make him all the more of a phenomenon this year is that it's not only becoming clear that he's the most talented of this season's Idol crop, but he still looks like an underdog. At his stature, he'll always look like an underdog.

But with that voice, I assure you, he will be crowned Idol champ come May.

Since I moved to the Oklahoma City area in 2005, I have not played one gig.

For awhile it was because I was getting acclimated to my new day job and the time required to do that, particularly the possibilities that I would be needed after hours. For awhile it was because I just didn't think there were many places in central Oklahoma that would be interested in a jazz pianist lounge player.

However, I'm starting to book some gigs, so if you know of any place in central Oklahoma that has a piano, give me a shout. My first one will be at Othello's in Norman on Campus Corner on May 17 from 7 to 11. I'll play jazz standards primarily, but I'll throw in some surprises for sure -- and play it by ear depending upon the crowd.

Playing live is the lifeblood of any musician, and it should be. There is nothing that will improve your chops faster. Guaranteed.

Be sure to check out my YouTube page to get a feel of what I'll be playing. Hope to see you there!

One week after starting a Top 3 countdown of what I believe to be the best of mainstream pop, country and/or R&B radio, I realized I could never contain myself to only three.

So, starting with this Monday, welcome to Ryan's Top 10, an arbitrary organization of my favorite songs of the week. There is nothing in-depth about this list, nor is it a reflection of my tastes as a musician or a songwriter.

If a tune makes this list, it means I turn it up in the car.

No. 10: Graham Colton, "Best Days"

Not so sure I'm sold on the song, and I do believe I will hate it in exactly two weeks. However, Graham is from Oklahoma City, and I'm all about supporting Oklahoma musicians.

***

No. 9: James Morrison, "Wonderful World"

Still no play on mainstream American radio. Argh.

***

No. 8: Linkin Park, "Shadow Of The Day"

A woman was sentenced to two years in prison last week for stalking lead singer Chester Bennington, which has me wondering. What kind of rock-n-roll name is CHESTER BENNINGTON!?

Nevertheless, this is still a terrific song.

***

No. 7: Jordin Sparks w/Chris Brown, "No Air"

I wonder how much of this song's chart strength so far has come from Idol fans because I've yet to hear it on the radio.

***

No. 6: Ray J w/Yung Berg, "Sexy Can I"

OK, I admit it. This is catchy. Dangit.

***

No. 5: Sean Kingston, "Take You There"

I've about had it with any singer using a Jamaican accent, whether he or she is Jamaican-mon or not. It's terrible. However, this song has an 80s groove and a very catchy chorus, and I'll give credit where credit is due. The lyrics aren't half bad in spots, but I suspect that is strictly a product of low, low expectations.

***

No. 4: Lifehouse, "First Time"

Ever since hitting it big with the biggest hit of 2001, "Hanging By A Moment," Lifehouse has been one of my favorite adult contemporary bands. They are so competent when it comes to songwriting and production. They're like Hamburger Helper, nothing fancy but always consistent and hearty.

***

No. 3: Maroon 5, "Wake Up Call"

This is one of America's best bands, and the funkiest white band since Jamiroquai. Great song. Great lyrics. I love violent lyrics.

***

No. 2: Billy Ray Cyrus w/Miley Cyrus, "Ready, Get Set, Don't Go"

First, I'm not being creepy. This has one of the strongest hooks of any pop song over the past couple of years. Miley's voice is actually pretty solid, although I really despise the primary lyric, that "Get Ready, Get Set ... Please Don't Go."

However, no lie. The music hook is so good I can't get away from it. Furthermore, the vocal production is tight Americana goodness. OK, perhaps utilizing the word "tight" within 10 feet of the name "Miley Cyrus" warrants a restraining order.

Nevertheless, embarrassingly good tune.

***

No. 1: Rascal Flatts, "Winner At A Losing Game"

I mentioned last week how much this song reminded me of The Eagles. However, the sound and vibe really take me back to the early 1980s, which I think is one of the best eras for music ever. It reminds me of Poco, of solo Glenn Frey.

Alas, I spent years hating Rascal Flatts' sound but secretly liking their songs, particularly "What Hurts The Most" and "These Days." However, this song literally makes me want to champion everything they do. By a mile, this is the best current pop hit on the charts this week.

Do you remember last week when President George W. Bush declared Kosovo to be independent? Riots ensued in Belgrade, Serbia.

All this talk of eastern Europe takes me back to my days in Dr. Goldsmith's classes at the University of Oklahoma. History and in particular geopolitical history has always been one of my favorite academic subjects.

But the big pop culture talk coming from the events of the past week centers on a video taken during the riots of young women in Serbia looting. Some have called her "riot girl," although there seems to be more than one the filmmaker follows.

Can't tell. White people all look the same to me. (Kidding.)

However, this YouTube clip blew the hell up this week to the tune of more than 1 million page views. The filmmaker, called gvantanamo describes the clip as such:

Dear viewers, seeing how this video has become hugely popular I think that is my duty to explain the whole situation.
The first part of the video is happening in a store at Slavija square in Belgrade, Serbia at the time of the torching of a McDonalds restaurant near by, when I by accident recorded these two girls. Two hours later, at Terazije square, I recorded two other girls ("Jesi li nasla broj?"), and shortly after I ran into the blondes from earlier who were emptying a store in Sremska Street. Astonished by their persistence on getting new clothes on a 100% off sale, I decided to further record them.



I would like to thank everyone for their support, and to Albanians, Croatians, Muslims, Germans... Martians and all others who are gloating after this happened, I would like to say that these are only marginal appearances, and that the huge majority of citizens of Serbia are normal and honest people, and I am proud to be one
of them.

On the face of it, this seems like a home movie that has caught the attention of Web surfers. But at 1 million views plus, what this video constitutes is living history. When professors talk about these riots years, decades and perhaps centuries from now, this video will be invoked.

And this is a terrific example as to how we are ALL journalists. There is no license to become one. There are no degree requirements. Not sure if gvantanamo realized his handiwork would be categorized as vital citizen journalism, but good on this dude/chick for posting this.

What I really liked is the obvious sense of national pride the filmmaker has in the face of knowing that the video he posted could make others think less of Serbians. Frankly, it was a very gutsy thing to do.

We got to watch a new SNL this week for the first time in months, now that the writers' strike is over. But would the writers be on their game?

To be honest, the opening sketch, featuring Fred Armisen as Barack Obama and Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton, was way too long and just not funny. It looked like it could be a long night.

But then we got this, a digital short for a new period medicine called Annuale:

On a night filled with several funny moments, this was one of the best in recent memory. However, there's a big reason this week's SNL was funny: Tina Fey.

A writer on SNL from 1997 to just a couple years ago, including time as SNL's "head writer," Fey's writing is edgy, funny and relevant. Take her commentary this weekend on Hillary Clinton's presidential aspirations.

Loved it. Good re-start for SNL.

Perhaps I was taking a nap most of 2006, but I never saw this incredibly, incredibly funny SNL video, in which Natalie Portman details a day in her life via a rap song.

I suspect this was written by Chris Parnell, who I still think is one of the two or three most talented guys to be on SNL the past decade. Anyway, this is brilliance.

Those of us who consider ourselves children of the '80s likely remember the group Shalamar. With hits like "Dead Giveaway" and "Dancing in the Sheets," they tore up the middle part of the charts during the decade.

And they propelled Howard Hewitt and Jody Watley into successful solo careers.

But it was a little-known song from 1982 that I wanted to feature today. Called "A Night To Remember," Shalamar took this soul-dance track to No. 44 in the U.S.

Unfortunately, I don't really remember this from my radio-listening days in the early part of the '80s. But when I played this with a group back in 2004, they assured me this was the jam back in '82.

Then again, they were all in their early 20s, so what did they know about 1982, right? I thought Asia and Toto ruled the planet back then!

But what I love about this song, from a musician's perspective, is the turnaround at 2:01 of the video below. It's not one of those conventional, one-step-up key changes. If I remember right, the progression of the song completely changes at that point.

They simply do not make songs this good anymore. Period.

One of my favorite things to discuss about jazz is just how much the genre is dependent upon order. I've played the piano for more than 30 years, and it wasn't until I understood this order that I understood jazz and how to play it.

Don't get me wrong. I fully comprehend the improvisational nature of jazz. However, for those who think jazz is nothing but a bunch of cats playing whatever they'd like and hoping it sounds right, think again.

On the other hand, I would expect that most of you jazz aficionadoes get this.

Why I Bring This Up

At work today, a colleague and I were discussing the value of proper grammar, and he said that he was more of a math guy, particularly strong with numbers. And I said, "Well then, you are probably terrific with English and don't even know it, and I'll tell you why."

So, I explain to him that while English is by far the most complex and pattern-breaking language on the planet, it's still formulated upon patterns.

But this isn't about English; it's about jazz.

However, I should note that in college, I struggled with writing at a scholastic level until I fully understood that the written English language is about adhering to rules and patterns. Again, enough with school. Besides, my best subject was beer.

Following Along With The Standards

Jazz players typically work off what they call a "lead sheet." It's a type of sheet music that features time signatures, keys, chords, syncopations and the order a song will be played in by the band.

So, when you're out at the jazz club, and you hear the band start up "My Foolish Heart," they'll often play the song the first time through pretty conventionally, meaning that "you recognize it."

Then all hell breaks loose, right?

And by the time you're on your third scotch, you've determined these guys are the best musicians ever because it sounds like they're playing nonsense in a way that pleases you aesthetically. It's both fascinating and amazing.

However, regardless of what you hear, they're following the lead sheet, supplementing it with their individual runs, voicings, progressions while maintaining the order of the instructions before them.

Think of it like this: You know the part of the song when the drummer does his thing, banging away, only to have the entire combo come back into the song at the same time perfectly, making you wonder, "How in the heck did they do that?"

It's because each one of them is counting 1-2-3-4 (or whatever the signature is) in his or her head. Say the drummer is scheduled to do his thing for 32 beats. As a pianist, I count 1-2-3-4 eight times and then come back in as the lead sheet instructs, and frankly, it requires a fair amount of concentration.

What makes the art of jazz so beautiful though is in the cooperation between its individual parts, even more than the beauty of each player's individuality. I'll give you an example.

About five years ago, I was called at home by a friend of mine who told me this hot jazz singer from Louisiana was in town to do one night at a club in Dallas, and they were in desperate need of a pianist right then and there.

Like in five minutes. He said, "Grab a jacket. Put on some slacks, and get your ass here."

Beauty. But I was nervous. Didn't know what they would be playing, although I knew it would be standards and that they would have lead sheets waiting for me. Mind you, I am not a pro pro.

I am probably good enough to be a "pro," but that's a small "p."

The bassist, who apparently had worked with some big-P pros there in Texas, tells me, "Kid, you'll be a-ok if you follow the lead sheet and trust us."

Fair enough, I suppose. And it's a plus that I was familiar with all the standards, a must for any jazz player. If you want to learn jazz, you have to have to have to learn the standards. Buy what they call a Real Book, and get a really good Fake Book.

More on those some other day.

However, as I played that night, I took to heart a couple lessons that had been handed down to me. First came from my dad, who engrained into me the pattern theories behind jazz. He would show me something cool on the piano, and I would ask, "So, how do I do it in THIS instance?"

And he would say, "Don't memorize the chord. Memorize the pattern."

All that means is that the pianist learns the note-to-note spacing of any chording or progression. For example, you start with note A, and then move up 3 half steps for note B, a whole step for note C and a half step for note D. Or whatever.

Same goes with any runs that a jazz musician plays. It's all orderly. The second piece of advice I took to this gig came from a sax player named Richard, with whom I'd play periodically in Dallas, who emphasized that as long as your runs were comprised of notes that were valid for the scale of the chord you were playing, you'd be fine.

Lesson noted: If you want to play jazz, you have to master your scales.

With those points duly noted, I played what I think was my best gig ever that night, not so much because of anything I did, but because I followed the rules (if you will) and trusted my combo mates to do the same.

And it sounded freaking awesome.

Truth is, I was solely a pop player until about the time my dad got sick with cancer in late 2001. However, there was something about the knowledge transfer from him to me during that period before he died in 2003 that clicked. It absolutely clicked.

It reminds me of hearing about Oscar Peterson battle with esteem issues as a young player, thinking he'd never be able to play like the greats. Someone told him to break each measure down note by note, chord by chord and practice until the repetition becomes natural.

Until it clicks.

Once a player or a group gets really good at it, they can then do all sorts of crazy stuff with it. For example, the bassist and guitarist and horn players can stick with the song basics while the pianist goes on what they call a diminished run, which essentially makes the song sound really dissonant. All the while, the order of the tune is kept in tact.

Another way of thinking of it is this: If the progressions of a tune include B-flat major, E-flat major, D-minor-9th and G-13, which I think are part of the aforementioned "My Foolish Heart," then the musician can play whatever he darned well pleases during the improvisational part of the piece so long as it adheres to the structure set forth in those chords.

So, while you hear DISORDER, the musicians themselves are adhering to what I'd call ARTISTIC order. And that's absolutely why I love playing (or attempting to play) jazz. It's because the whole of a well-trained group, even if they have never met before, can produce something beautiful in one take and make you think they've played together forever.

And all the while, there's not a one of them who has any idea beforehand what it will sound like.

And I assure you, that process is 100 percent about patterns and repetition and, therefore, it's mathematic.

Now enjoy my favorite pro of all time, the late great Bill Evans and his combo's take on "My Foolish Heart."

Here's my quick take of Frank Sinatra's classic, "Lady Is A Tramp."

For more of my videos or to subscribe, visit youtube.com/soonerryan2000.

As Flo Rida dominates the Billboard Hot 100 charts again this week -- for the 9th consecutive week -- it's easy to evaluate chart movers and shakers.

Because there are few.

Singles chart movement is minimal with few exceptions.

On the down side of things, digital hit "New Soul" by Yael Naim fell from No. 7 to 42, making one wonder whether she's reached critical mass. The song gained its sudden popularity as a commercial for an Apple computer product and died its quick chart death as a result of zero mainstream radio airplay and dwindling digital sales.

The big Top 20 mover this week comes from Lupe Fiasco feat. Matthew Santos with the song "Superstar," which moved from No. 21 to 14 in its 10th week on the chart, and its got Top 10 written all over it. However, I'm not sure what all the hype is.

It's not a catchy song nor is it edgy.

If you asked me, that li'l video (above) is virtually unbearable. But what do I know.

One Republic bounced up 13 notches from 33 to 20 this week with "Stop and Stare," the follow up to their giant hit "Apologize," and while it's not as catchy as the Timbaland product, it ain't half bad.

Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown flew up 9 to No. 23 with "No Air," which I still think will be a giant hit. When compared with other songs on the chart this week, except for a handful of already huge hits, this song is about as good as it gets.

Not sure it's saying much, but again I like it. A lot, actually. This is a strong track.

But the big debut of the week comes from Brandy's little brother and Kim Kardashian's porno co-star Ray J. It's "Sexy Can I," and it moves from No. 52 to 29.

Boy, it was hard to find a clean version of this song. It's chock-full of the "n word," and there's just no reason for that in a pop song. Now, this is going to be a huge hit. Catchy hook given that it has very little music in it, and I imagine the video is much more interesting to watch than the song is to listen to.

As for next week, my gut hunch says Chris Brown's "With You" takes over the top spot given that, at No. 2, it was Billboard's "airplay gainer." Given Alicia Keys' appearance on the Grammy Awards last week, her single "No One" was the magazine's sales gainer.

However, the American music awards extravaganza is always a boon for participating artists. Amy Winehouse's "Back to Black" moved from No. 24 to 2 on the album chart this week, and Herbie Hancock basically doubled his total sales in one week for "River: The Joni Letters."

Looks like somebody cleaned up at the 2008 Brit Awards on Wednesday night. Amy Winehouse.

And by "cleaned up," I don't mean she won any awards. (She didn't.) Nor did Winehouse look particularly spiffy at the British version of the Grammy Awards. (She didn't.)

Nope, I think she cleaned up -- or should I say "out" -- a mini-bar before performing "Love is a Losing Game" and "Valerie," the latter as part of a medley from super producer Mark Ronson. Ronson was a big winner, taking home Best Male Solo honors.

Word is that dress rehearsals were so bad for Winehouse that ITV considered pulling her from the show. Apparently, a discussion between executives and Wino, behind closed doors, did the trick.

Amy wasn't up for any awards, anyway. Acts like Adele, Take That, Arctic Monkeys and Mika dominated the proceedings, and I think it's because Back to Black was technically a 2006 British album.

And, a quick check of the 2007 Brit Awards listings shows that Winehouse did win for Best Female Solo and lost in the Best Album category.

Alas, Mark Ronson's medley, featuring the very underrated Daniel Merriweather and his hit "Stop Me," was the pop culture talk of the blogosphere, but not for that performance. Check out Amy's dancing and general oddness after performances from Adele and Merriweather:

And then there was this rendition of "Love Is A Losing Game:"

Sometimes Simon Cowell is a twit.

After Tulsa's own Alaina Whitaker deftly performed Spiral Starecase's "More Today Than Yesterday," Simon praised the teenager but slammed the song.

"Spiral who?" he asked.

Perhaps the biggest criticism I could offer the American Idol Top 24 over two nights is that, of all the songs available to them in the 1960s, these are what they picked?

Except that, to me, "More Today Than Yesterday" is one of the great pop songs of my lifetime. Lyrically, it's poetic and romantic. The sentiment is simple yet profound; it's darned near spiritual. Seriously. The concept of loving somebody more today than yesterday might not reflect the consistence of a creator to His people, but it wreaks of something The Byrds might have penned.

Musically, it's perfect. If I had to pin down my favorite 25 songs of all time, which I'll do on this blog sometime, this song is a fair bet for it.

The good news is that Mr. Cowell at least recognized the rising star that could be Alaina. Given that it's easy to compare her performance to that of Chikezie from a night ago (same song), she should be a shoo-in to come back next week.

However, the fate of the other 11 women was firmly planted in song choice, and I have to say that my grumpy side came out again tonight. I do not find this to be the most talented group in Idol history. I'm not sure that anybody in this bunch is a sure thing or even close.

But Mom agrees with me tonight on one thing.

"Alaina Whitaker. Good voice. She reminds me a little bit of Carrie Underwood and she is from Tulsa. Loved the song."

So, Spiral Starecase gets another vote of confidence. And, all things equal, we'll always pull for the Oklahoma kid. Nevertheless, Alaina didn't top Mom's list this week.

That honor would go to Asia'h Epperson, the Joplin, Mo., native who sang "Piece of My Heart." First off, Joplin is practically in Oklahoma. Secondly, Asia'h was great. Not perfect. Not stunning. But she's in no danger of going anywhere anytime soon.

We agreed on Carly Smithson's performance, one Randy and Paula praised heavily but one that Simon the twit crapped on. Simon went on and on about Carly's mic technique, and it all deviated from whether or not Carly's vocal was any good.

She sang a jazz standard, "Shadow of Your Smile," and she was good. But she was not great. C'mon, people. That's a million-dollar voice? Again, Carly was solid, and she's in no danger of elimination.

But I'm not blown away.

Nor was I blown away by the Jasmine Trias starter kit known as Ramiele Malubay. She sang a Dusty Springfield tune, and she was a-ok, but if this were a porn flick ... uh, let's not go there. You get the idea. For me, there was no spark.

The judges gushed and gushed about the big voice from the little body, and all I could think is how ordinary it was. "Forgettable," as Simon the twit likes to call it.

Likewise, the judges gushed about Syesha Mercado, Idol's ABC reality show reject. If you'll recall, Syesha was on "The One," which lasted all of two weeks. She screams, and the judges automatically label her a powerhouse.

A bit of disagreement between Mom and me relative to 16-year-old Alexandrea Lushington. Mom thinks Lushington might be shown the door on Thursday, but I think she's a keeper. She's got a solid voice, a good personality and a great sense of style and how to manage herself on stage. In fact, I'm rather stunned she hadn't already been discovered for, perhaps, a Nickolodeon program.

It's not that Alexandrea was Mom's least favorite. That vote goes to Amanda Overmyer, and I have to concur. She wasn't my least favorite, but she's not nearly as edgy as everybody makes her out to be. First of all, I have seen the great Dilana, and Amanda Overmyer is not her. Amanda is pussycat to Dilana's tiger, in the same family but not terribly close.

Mom's rankings: 1. Asia'h Epperson; 2. Carly Smithson; 3. Ramiele Malubay; 4. Alaina Whitaker; 5. Brooke White.

My rankings: 1. Alaina Whitaker; 2. Carly Smithson; 3. Asia'h Epperson; 4. Alexandrea Lushington; 5. Ramiele Malubay.

She thinks Alexandrea and Joanne Borgella will be executed, er, eliminated on Thursday. But I think it will be Amy Davis and Joanne Borgella.

Believe it or not, Rick Astley was only five years older in 1988 than Idol contestant David Archuleta is now when he recorded his No. 1 hit, "Never Gonna Give You Up."

Of course, the reason I mention Rick is because the boy wonder of American Idol Season 7 sounds just like him. Rick had one of the great white-boy soul voices of the late 1980s and early 1990s, and I wouldn't suggest Archuleta is close at this juncture.

But the potential is clearly there, as evidenced in this well-done but terribly cheesy performance from Tuesday night. The well-done goes to the kid. The cheesy goes to the hokey, hokey arrangement. Could Ricky Minor have found more annoying keyboard patches with which to work?

When you've got it, you've got it.

That's what Simon Cowell told David Archuleta on Tuesday, minutes before he said the same things to Jason Castro and Aussie expatriate Michael Johns.

So, that would be the American Idol Top 3 from boys' night, right?

Think again. And this year, it's not just me judging the talent. My sainted mother has tagged along, and it's for a reason.

Those of you who have watched the show like we have since Idol's inception understand the differences in the show's demographics. The heavy voters are teenage girls, but their voting preferences have historically mimicked those of adult women -- the grandmas, if you will.

Well, the sainted nameless above-reproach mother also happens to be a grandmother, although not from any contribution of mine that we know of ... yet. Give me red wine, some pills and a willing participant, and I'm betting I can make it happen.

However, for me, the amorous mood wouldn't have a thing to do with anything I saw tonight. Tuesday's male performances were much younger overall than in previous years, much more theatrical and less relevant than ever.

Nevertheless, David Archuleta stands out like a sore thumb, but in a good way. Vocally, there's nobody on par with him yet, even though his voice cracked Peter Brady style in the middle of "Shop Around."

Stylistically, I liked Johns and Castro well enough, but Johns was extremely pitchy and dull on The Doors' "Light My Fire," and Castro's terrible guitar work killed any thought I had of giving his Lovin' Spoonful tribute a thumbs-up.

Lesson No. 1 when playing an instrument live: Tune it!

Love what Mom said about Castro: "Performance was OK as was the song but he needs a haircut." Don't think for a second that teenage girls aren't thinking the same thing. When it comes to a yum sandwich, who are these teen (better yet, tween) girls going to dial digits for -- Rasta Castro? or Davey Archuleta.

Not a contest there, podnah. Mom said of Archuleta, "Good voice. Good performance, but I didn't like the song."

It's an astute point because voters base a lot of their opinions on these songs, and The Miracles' 1960 legendary hit is not likely on any iPods or Facebook pages. On the other hand, as a lover of all things Smokey Robinson, I thought the song was a smart choice musically.

The most disagreement between myself and my parental unit, the two disparate voters we are, centered on Chikezie Eze. His version of Spiral Starecase's "More Today Than Yesterday," I thought, was tantamount to at least manslaughter.

Mom liked it. Well, she at least liked the voice behind the song.

As for the suit, we both agreed with Simon. It looked hideous, dude.

We also disagree heavily on Danny Noriega, who I am convinced will eventually take the stage in a dress. I kid. See, I'm on his side. Think he's a true-blue talent. Terrific voice. Interesting personality, and he has this David Bowie feminine vibe going.

But Mom thinks he's a goner. I don't, although I also didn't think his version of "Jailhouse Rock" was the best ever.

On the other hand, we both agreed on Robbie Carrico in that his performance of Three Dog Night's "One" was solid. Good voice, and he looks and sounds like a pro. Like Simon, I do not buy the rocker vibe one bit.

He's too clean, and we already know his history with Boyz-n-Girls United. Plus, sorry, but his voice is actually too polished for rock. Carrico is closer to the cast of RENT than he is the next Daughtry album.

But I say this is a good thing. There is no doubt in my mind that Season 7's group of male contestants is by a mile the most feminine the show has ever had. Most of these males are mere boys, and artistically, they are much closer to future Broadway stars than pop sensations.

Vive le difference!

Mom's Top 5 performances came from: 1) Michael Johns, 2) David Archuleta, 3) Robbie Carrico, 4) Chikezie, 5) Jason Castro.

And mine were: 1) The boy wonder. The kid. David Archuleta. 2) Robbie Carrico. 3) Danny Noriega. Personally, I think he's the first Idol contestant who could stand a chance of winning the competition by being MORE Broadway.

That's all I can rank. I honestly hated the rest of them.

Mom thinks Luke Menard and Noriega will get booted right off, and I say it's Menard and Jason Yeager, whose version of Moon River wasn't actually all that bad. Great song, too.

That's a wrap for the dudes, which gives me just enough time to erase everything from my Idol memory banks in time for Wednesday's performances from our Top 12 women.

To be perfectly honest, I quit watching Dancing With The Stars two seasons ago. There's only so much dancing I can take.

But after Monday night's cast announcement for the Spring 2008 season, I have a pretty clear favorite, personally: Mario.

For those of you not familiar with the 21-year-old R&B star, let me introduce you to what I believe to be one of the two or three best (if not the best) male R&B songs of the decade, How Could You.

A couple of musician's notes: a) The chorus is classic 3-chord pop. However, b) starting at 2:21 in the video begins what I believe to be the most sophisticated pop, R&B bridge in recent memory. There are at least four tremendously jazzy chord progressions.

Brilliant musicianship even if, lyrically, this song refers to something called the "ghetto Kama Sutra."

What's crazy beyond crazy is that this song never even hit the Top 40. Peaked at No. 52 in March 2005.

Word from Billboard.com that Alicia Keys and Jordin Sparks will be touring together in April has me running to the phone for tickets!

I'm lying. I might have to slit my wrists if forced to attend this. In all sincerity, it has to be a life-changing show for me to attend if it involves crowds and parking and money.

If Amy Winehouse ever comes to Oklahoma City or Tulsa, I will pay top dollar to see her. However, I wouldn't dole out the $50 to go see Ben Folds two years ago, and I revere Ben Folds. However, so much of his crowd is made up of skateboarding punk-minded poseurs.

I would rather have been mercilessly beaten by two midgets and stepped on by a bull.

I'm just not a concertgoer. Never have been; never will be.

But news of this pairing brought to mind just how down I've been on Keys for her most recent work and how optimistic I've been for Jordin. However, lest we forget, in the world of 2008 pop music, Alicia is still pretty special.

Take You Don't Know My Name from 2003, which was written by Keys, Kanye West and Harold Lilly. I love this song. Love it. But do you want to know why?

That 1970s soul vibe.

Oh, wait. There's a reason for that soul vibe. This song samples a 1976 hit called Let Me Prove My Love To You by The Main Ingredient.

OK, I'm bitter again. Glad they at least had some taste in picking out a song to use for their new creation. Enjoy The Main Ingredient, er, Alicia Keys.

Each week, I'll feature my three favorite songs of the week -- regardless of genre. The only requirement is that it not be a recognized oldie.

For example, Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time," which happens to be one of the greatest pop songs in history, could not be on this weekly list. Even if it were my jam for the week.

No. 3: James Morrison, "Wonderful World": I'll say it over and over until it sinks in: This guy should be HUGE in America. And don't misinterpret this song. It's not a sappy, happy tune. It's kind of a gut-wrencher, and it makes it all the more appealing to me.

Take the line: Who am I to dream? / Dreams are for fools / They let you down.

No. 2: Rascal Flatts, "Winner At A Losing Game": The lead singer's voice used to grate on me. However, it's grown on me. This might disturb me. I do not know.

What I do know is that this tune is very reminiscent of The Eagles.

No. 1: Linkin Park, "Shadow of the Day": I can't get over how well done this is. This isn't kiddie-band crap, like I acknowledged last week. This is work from a band who wants to be around for 20 more years.

After four hours of sleep, I was awakened by the annoying toots of a train barreling along a track in north-central Norman, Okla., early Sunday.

As I leaned over to see what time it was, it dawned on me that I was having a great dream. Not dirty, although it involves a female. Not symbolic, I don't think, and I looked it up this morning.

For the life of me, I rarely have dreams continue as I go back to sleep after being awakened. But this happened at least three times Sunday morning.

The gist of the dream centered on catching up with somebody who was one part friend, one part more (this = none of your business). And I recall the dream pretty vividly. However, the weird part is that the after effect of this dream is the good mood it put me in today.

No, I wasn't giddy sort of jubilant like somebody suffering from bi-polar disorder. This was a good mood founded upon feeling centered, like I have it together, surrounded by an overwhelming sense of optimism.

Weird, and I have no explanation for it. Perhaps I was just hyped up on endorphins or something.

However, the one thing I would divulge about the person in this dream is that she's the only woman I've "liked" who was into smooth jazz. In fact, she turned me on to the Yellowjackets. Perhaps she just dug musicians.

What I've discovered on YouTube is that there are hardly any smooth jazz videos, and the ones featuring live performances are often highly, highly corny. They make me cringe, even though the music is solid.

The song I was looking for in particular is my favorite tune from the band, called "Daddy's Gonna Miss You", and I located it via a service called imeem. Enjoy.

Saw this while running on the treadmill this morning: "Closer to Fine" by the Indigo Girls.

Not only have I liked this song as a listener, but this is a songwriter's song. Great words. Great hook. Underrated song. Underrated li'l duo ...

Now that the writer's strike is over with, one of my television goals will be to catch up on NBC's 30 Rock.

While it finished at No. 102 for the 2006-07 season, Tina Fey's comedic vehicle won the Emmy last year for best comedy, beating out The Office and Ugly Betty among others. It's also a wide critical hit, making even Tom Shales crack a smile.

But what has sold me on the fact that I need to watch it is that colleagues are starting to talk about this show like they did The Office two years ago. Right now, it seems to be the show many hipsters are most looking forward to now that the WGA strike is done.

Thank God for Hulu.com, yes. But also for YouTube, particularly for the next two clips. The first is of Tracy Morgan, who is not only certifiable, he's also extraordinarily underrated comedically.

From the Jimmy Kimmel Show:

A clip of Liz Lemmon highlights, via YouTube:

When it comes to my favorite bar on the planet, there is no question what it is. It's Adair's Saloon in Dallas.

In the heart of Deep Ellum, it's a beer joint. Beer and shots. They serve food, too. Burgers and cheeseburgers. And that would be all.

The music is predominantly country with an emphasis on Texas Country, sometimes classic rock and at times a dab of Tejano. Anything Texas-oriented goes.

The ambience is second to none. The only bar that comes close is The Deli in Norman, Okla. The difference between Adair's and The Deli is that the latter is a place where college kids drink cheap beer from red cups and listen to terrific live music.

The Deli is dark and smoky, like a bar should be, but it's a college joint. Love it, but it is what it is. The space is owned by kids.

Adair's is a Texas beer joint in the heart of the city, filled with urban dwellers. Not rednecks. But it's not a yuppie bar either. The best way I can describe the place is that it's a beer and live music person's bar for adult Texans.

Jake Dakota and I have closed down this place many times, and we've gathered several funny stories from this place. My favorite centers on this dude we thought was a total redneck who kept getting hit on by every hot chick in the bar.

Like fools, Dakota and I got a ride home (all of three blocks away) from this guy, and it wasn't the smartest decision because this dude should not have been driving. Alas, death seemed like a better option than a DUI, and I wasn't behind any wheel.

We get back to the apartment, and we had one woman there with us, who happened to be a colleague of ol' Jake's if I remember correctly. Like every other chick in the bar, she was smitten with this Ford 150-driving redneck Marine fellow.

Being the nice guy that he is, Jake allowed her to drag him home with us. Long story short, somebody tossed something important into some bushes at the base of my building, and this guy spent the next couple of hours digging for it.

I know. This isn't a very good story on paper, but here's the punch line.

This "redneck" dude who was a Marine? We all got to talking on the balcony. No, this dude has an MBA from Duke and was a 6-figure guy at some Dallas Big 6 office. That was very typical for Adair's.

Alas, I wouldn't mind being at Adair's right now, and I think I'll make it a regular feature on ryanwelton.com to feature cool bars. In this clip, the singer is playing an odd one for a country group: "Only The Lonely" by The Motels.

And, believe me. This place is generally packed body to body by 11 p.m. The beer is $2 a can. You hold up a couple of ones, they hand you a beer. It's a beautiful thing.

Because I posted something about the apparent death of YouTube celebrity The Boring Dispatcher, I thought I'd follow it up with a confirmation.

According to his sister, Lisa, he died of bacterial meningitis (MRSA meningitis) and pneumonia last weekend. Funeral is on Feb. 20 in Whittier, Calif. She had photos of her with Roger and the whole family from back in the day. It was clearly her. It was clearly him.

To the YouTube community, this should now be clearly fact.

As I noted in my previous post, Roger (the Boring Dispatcher) was my first channel subscriber, which could be the answer to some obscure pop culture trivia question someday. However, my YouTube channel is pretty content specific in that I play music on it, so I posted no tributes. I'm not a tribute sort of guy.

However, I stumbled upon a brilliant video that puts the Boring Dispatcher into pop culture perspective. It's from Wiiiilbur, an Austin, Texas, vlogger (visit his YouTube channel) who asserts that Roger in death is YouTube's first legend.

Like Hank Williams became when he had the coronary in the back of that Cadillac on Jan. 1 some 55 years ago.

You know what? I agree with Wiiiilbur. In retrospect, considering how corporate YouTube will likely become over the next 10 years, Roger was kind of the face of what I would call YouTube's punk era. And, I think that's the proper terminology.

There is/was something very punk about the Boring Dispatcher and his videos, most of which will by default become YouTube classics. Even the boring ones.

Of course, by "punk" I mean "punk" as in punk rock. Not so much edgy as raw. Purposefully without frills. Impromptu. Ahead of its time.

Call me crazy. I think if an enterprising filmmaker got his indie-film wits about him (or her), TBD's online life would make a heck of a little film. A documentary.

Regardless, I think Wiiiilbur's remarks regarding the likelihood that Roger's online legend will only grow are spot on.

Take this video, for example. Not sure what it's about, and it's certainly not safe for work, but it peripherally illustrates my point.

Personally, my favorite musician on YouTube is Chris White. Calls himself 'Isto,' and I'm sure I've mentioned him here on this blog at some point in the past.

Anyway, here's his kazoo-laced interpretation of "It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)." Good stuff.

My former nightside buddy Jesse and I -- I think -- have the same sense of humor because he and I both found this to be hilarious. I noticed it posted to one of his MySpace blogs.

Of course, the woman in this video could have easily been killed. Nevertheless, my gut reaction is to laugh like an idiot. So, I did.

I'm going to hell.

Flo Rida's "Low" is beginning its eighth week at No. 1 on Billboard's Hot 100 singles chart, a sure sign the world is coming to an end.

I won't lie. If I have too many soda pops, I enjoy watching hip-hop videos because they are almost all variations of the same theme. Mug and pose. Raise your hands in the air. Show off your gold teeth, tats and bling.

However, the music is atrocious. Seriously, we are devolving as a species.

Overall, there isn't much change in the Top 10. Yael Naim moved up a couple spots with that Mac song I told you about earlier this week. On the other hand Buckcherry cracks the Top 10 with another song I deplore, called "Sorry."

But I don't hate the band. Nope, I really dug this tune from a couple years back called "Crazy Bitch," and it's probably not safe to blast at work unless you work in a strip club, brothel or some location where so-called respectable folk might hang.

Seriously though. This takes me back to my hair-band days. Love it.

One of the biggest movers of the week -- from No. 42 to 32 -- is Jordin Sparks' duet with Chris Brown called "No Air." This was a smart move by her label to release this, as I noted in a blog post months ago. First, he's a star, and he's credible in pop circles. Second, this is a very well done pop song musically. I can't speak to the words because I can't understand a danged word they're singing, and I am certain enough that this isn't Pulitzer material that I ain't gonna look 'em up.

However, the production, the arrangement, the vibe: This is going to be a big, big hit. We'll see, but given the general good performance of her first single, I'm starting to think everybody has been wrong about Jordin Sparks.

However, the award for my favorite song on the charts this week goes to a band that I hated just five years ago. They've grown on me, and I think they're maturing in much the same way that Green Day has over the past decade.

Or perhaps they've just grown on me.

It's Linkin Park, and I think they're song "Shadow of the Day" is tremendously well-written, well-produced and performed. It strongly reminds me of Joshua Tree-era U2. I think this is an early contender for Record of the Year honors in 2009.

Like everything else nowadays, that this song is No. 19 and struggling to get to the Top 10 while Flo Rida has been No. 1 for eight weeks says everything about our collective taste at this juncture. But I'll leave things on an up note and show LP's video for "Shadow of the Day."

Michael Buckley reviews the Grammy Awards in his latest edition of What The Buck, and it's one of his funnier videos of the past few weeks.

One thing I'll take issue with is his analysis that Carrie Underwood is pitchy live. He's dead wrong on that, at least relative to her Sunday performance. However, his girl Alicia Keys was terribly sharp toward the end of her duet with Frank Sinatra's digital corpse.

Still, an excellent vid:

You can check out more of Michael at BuckHollywood.com.

Mark your calendars for April 26, and pray for great weather. Norman, Okla., is entering the world of college-town music heavyweights.

Polyphonic Spree will be headlining with Debris, Chainsaw Kittens, British Sea Power, Grupo Fantasma and Octopus Project on the bill.

If you are not familiar with the Spree or haven't been to one of their shows, it's a scene. The people watching will be tremendous, even if the music is iffy. To be honest, I like the Polyphonic Spree but that is a lowercase "l" on "like." They're much more entertaining to watch than to listen to ...

However, I'm intrigued by all the other bands, even though Normanites are already way familiar with the homegrown Kittens.

For now, check out this video of the Polyphonic Spree playing "Light & Day":

If you're not a regular YouTuber, you won't have the slightest idea what or who I am writing about. However, my very first subscriber apparently died this weekend.

We don't know how. We don't know when exactly, and frankly we don't know for sure. However, all YouTube signs point to the passing of TheBoringDispatcher, who happened to be the very first subscriber to my channel (soonerryan2000).

Not that Roger was into jazz or videos of people playing songs, but I had sent him an e-mail relative to something he was talking about -- and he sends me one back that read: "You're a good player. You should have subscribers."

And he became my first -- and now I'm up to 184. That is not a lot in the land of YouTube. However, in all practicality, I probably would have abandoned the YouTube concept if I hadn't gotten a subscriber within weeks of the communication I had with Roger.

Eventually, he unsubscribed to me but I think it's because he hopped off YouTube or switched channels. At one point, he sent me a nice note relative to my rendition of "Suicide is Painless," which is the theme to M*A*S*H, saying that it was one of his favorite tunes.

He was a good dude. We weren't buddies, and I didn't take to everything he talked about. But he had a dry, dry sense of humor, and was a fun watch, and in the world of YouTube, that's about as personal as we get.

For the record, I spent a couple minutes looking up Los Angeles area obituaries for anybody with the name Roger or anybody 31 years old, and I found nothing. This could absolutely be a hoax; however, there's nothing to indicate this ain't the real deal.

So, let it serve as my brief online tribute to the one and only Boring Dispatcher!

The ratings have been mostly down this season, but the talent is unquestionably up -- and now we have our Top 24 for American Idol Season 7.

Let the games begin.

Instead of recapping tonight's show, which I don't need to do because you're all loyal watchers, I'm going to give you 10 singers who can win the whole thing. In fact, I am pretty sure that one of these 10 will earn the curse that is American Idol.

I kid. Who wouldn't want to win this? This is the pop culture Super Bowl, and what's fascinating about this year's bunch is that it's a weird looking lot, but they're all really good.

Take David Archuleta (No. 1), about whom I've written a number of times. He's a 16-year-old tiny li'l Mormon boy who sings like an Osmond. He can play the piano, and he's overcome vocal paralysis.

And, he's already mastered Star Search as a 12-year-old. That is a major advantage.

Archuleta is by far the best 16-year-old the show has produced. He is not a future Daughtry or a future singer-songwriter, but he is absolutely a future professional vocalist in some realm. The teen girls will eat him alive, and I suspect despite the heap of abuse he'll get from haters that this season is Archuleta's to lose.

I know many of you will disagree with me, but he has all the ingredients for a long-term run. First, he is actually good; it's not a fluke. However, he's not too good, like a Melinda Doolittle. Second, he's absolutely appealing to both the young girls and the grandmamas. Third, he's undeniably likeable.

A sure bet for the Top 12 is San Diego's Carly Smithson (No. 2). An American by way of Ireland, Carly probably has the most commercial voice of all the contestants. It's edgy, even if she really isn't. She looks like a rebel but has the soul of a girly-girl.

I think she's the contestant most likely to be eliminated in that No. 4 or No. 3 spot, the ones where Chris Daughtry, Tamyra Gray and Doolittle went down. She can win it, absolutely, and might even be the favorite at various points throughout the season.

Australian Michael Johns (No. 3), 29, is one part Mel Gibson and the other part sane (that would be the non-Mel Gibson part). Kidding. He's got a very good voice, and will be the favorite of many women in a Taylor Hicks sort of way because he's got model looks but very dorky movements.

He absolutely could win this, and I think he's a shoo-in for the Top 12.

Just go ahead and count out Danny Noriega (No. 4), the extremely effeminate California teen with a voice that absolutely doesn't match his physique. If Archuleta sounds like a future Osmond, Noriega sounds like a future Sam Harris, and he was the original made-for-TV talent show winner.

Ain't nothing wrong with a future on Broadway, kid.

For me, Asia'h Epperson (No.5) is the one breath of soulful fresh air we have in this competition. Take me very literally when I say that Asia'h's rendition of Mary J. Blige's "I'm Goin' Down" had just the right amount of street in it. Not only does she have a great voice, she has an edge -- an edge I seem to recall Fantasia Barrino had.

Yes, we know that her father died one day before her initial audition. But she doesn't need the storyline. Asia'h is a for-sure Top 12 Idol contestant, and a real shot to win.

Those are my Top 5 for Season 7 thus far. However, there are five others who, for any number of reasons, could win this bugger. In no random order, they are: Kristy Lee Cook, Robbie Carrico, Kady Malloy, Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro.

Over the next seven days, I'll profile most of the Top 24 on american-idol-blog.com, so check us out over there.

To illustrate my point from last night regarding good accompanyment, watch this video from American Idol Top 24 contestant David Archuleta.

That's right. We have our Top 24 now, and Archuleta was a slam dunk to get in. And, I would rate him as among my favorites on the show this season thus far, even though I typically do not root for the young ones.

However, this kid is really good, and he can play the piano decently well -- but I'm going to pick on him to make a point. This is a video of him playing and singing Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles" that I found on YouTube.

Great song, and he nails the intro.

On the verse, it's perfect. He sticks with chording, and I think his phrasings are a tad better than the actual song. However, the focus is on his voice, which when delivering a song is the important part.

Fast forward to :42, and watch his eyes. When he gets to the chorus of the song, he looks down at his fingers to make sure they're in the right position, and he spends way too much time making sure he's playing the right notes.

Watch the video:

In the bands and duos and groups I've played in, I could never stand to play with that guy who insisted on playing each cover exactly the way the original artist did it. Hate that because it's just not important.

Furthermore, it takes away from the individuality of the performance. And in David's case, it takes away from his terrific voice. If I were his "piano coach," I would have told him to dumb down the chorus. Play some big chords in the mid-to-lower part of the piano.

With his high voice, it would give his performance some much-needed bass. And for goodness' sake, forget about playing it just like Vanessa Carlton. Individual arrangements are what makes the world go 'round, and besides ... nobody is there to watch you play the piano.

That you can says something, but the performer should just tell the song's story in a way that meshes with his or her individuality.

In a slight twist from past years, American Idol allowed Hollywood contestants to play instruments while singing.

I know. What a novel idea.

However, as a pianist of 34 years, it's easier said than done, and I'm actually pretty damned good at it. On Tuesday night, Idol musicians made some classic mistakes, and I thought it would be a terrific opportunity to outline, specifically, how to be the best accompanist possible. Well, at least on the piano.

1. Don't overshadow the primary instrument, whether it be a vocal or a trumpet. What you play should be virtually invisible but just enough to provide the perfect landscape for the vocalist.

2. Don't stray from the basics. One Idol contestant laid down some decent but sophomoric piano licks during a Billy Joel song, and Simon Cowell called him out on it.

Here's the God's honest truth. Unless you're a jazz or classical great, there is somebody better than you on the piano. If the point is to enhance vocals with instrumentation, then leave the runs at home. You'll look like an idiot.

3. Make sure you can actually play. This is going to come off as terribly cocky, so please forgive me, but I can actually play. Well, in fact. Most of these Idol kids could merely form chords, except for Brooke White, who did a darned nice job on Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful".

There is an art to playing in some semblance of an arrangement while a vocalist sings. One cannot merely play competent chords and notes. It has to sound right, complementary if you will, to the primary instrument.

Apparently, 7-year-old David Archuleta can play pretty well, as Simon complimented him heartily on everything tonight. While I kid about Archuleta's age, he does look like he's all of 10. But here's the thing: He can really, really, really -- you can't deny him -- sing. In fact, I am pretty sure he's the best young male singer the show has ever had.

However, with that said, he's going to face a mountain of abuse once he gets to the Final 12. And, believe me, that's where he's headed. He's got that Kevin Covais, Sanjaya, John Stevens young kid vibe going for him. And, we live in a brutal world, well, in terms of criticism and people who have no other intention but to poke fun.

But I digress.

Probably the most important part about being an instrumentalist for somebody else singing is in leading them through the song and helping them to mask mistakes. Not that we pianists never err, but our job is to make the vocalist shine.

If he or she misses a verse, play an extra measure and lead them into it.

If he or she changes chords on the fly, you had better be ready to do so.

If he or she passes out on stage from drinking too much 40-year-old Scotch, you the pianist had best be ready to play awhile or at least call a cab.

This stuff is not rocket science, and most of you musicians will think this entire discussion is patronizing. However, very few young musicians know even how to accompany themselves, and Tuesday night's episode of Idol underscored it.

As far as the Top 24 and who will get picked, here's what I would say: David Archuleta, Carly Smithson, Michael Johns, Danny Noriega and Asia'h Epperson were really, really good.

If they're not all in the Top 24, I'll be stunned.

Given that we've had a few weeks to ruminate over this season's crop of singers, I'd also say that my pre-Top 24 favorites to go all the way, believe it or not, include the young Archuleta and the tattooed Smithson.

What's amazing to me is that Smithson (nee Hennessy) was such a bomb at MCA back in 2001, losing like $2.2M for the company and selling only 3 CDs (or something equally as ridiculous). She can flat out sing. She's got a unique look and what seems to be an incredibly grounded personality.

Alas, we have plenty of time for this discussion later, and it would probably be best if I save it for my American Idol site. But the whole playing-instruments tangent allowed me the chance to review some musician basics.

If you're a musician and have anything else to add to my list, feel free to comment below or post your own blog entry and link to this one. Ciao.

Miami's CBS affiliate is reporting that rocker Lenny Kravitz is in the hospital with bronchitis and dehydration.

The story notes he's been suffering from a number of severe respiratory-tract infections as well as the flu. Kravitz recently made the news after pledging to forego sex until he married again, which has zero to do with this, I suppose. Or does it?

Here's my favorite Kravitz tune, "Are You Gonna Go My Way":

By the looks of the ratings, most of you didn't watch the 50th Grammy Awards. But that's OK; I watched them for you.

And I've put together my performance grades. A means it was brilliant. B means it was good. C means it was neither here nor there. D means it was poor but repairable and F is an abomination.

Alicia Keys opened the festivities with one of those take-you-back duets between her and Frank Sinatra. It was designed to pay tribute to 50 years of Grammy greatness; however, it came off as extraordinarily hokey.

First, Keys was at the piano but not really playing. There is a reason why the lights were purposefully off her hands. This made me crazy.

* deep breath *

She's at the piano to do "Learnin' the Blues" with Sinatra's ghost, and she's moving her hands but playing nothing. You want to know how I know this? I've only played the standards for 30 years, and there is a certain way your hands move when you play, and hers were moving in very basic, three-chord pop style.

Second, she does this li'l cool "Sing it, Frank" thing that honestly made me want to vomit in my pants. I cringed.

I'm not sure what this cult of Alicia Keys is all about, but she's highly average at best. Yes, I loved "If I Ain't Got You," and "You Don't Know My Name," but what I loved were the songs. Not her.

Grade: D

In one quick paragraph of defense, I did think her live performance of "No One" was actually better than the radio single. However, that might reflect how little I think of that. Lastly, make fun of John Mayer for his obvious SRV mancrush, but the guy is a good musician.

Grade: C+

Morris Day & The Time were wonderful. I still think they're the greatest funk band of all time, and I say that with zero apologies to Parliament, Funkadelic and the eventual Parliament-Funkadelic.

Besides not aging much for 24 years, Day rocked the house with "Jungle Love," and Rihanna was the perfect match-up for them. In a world that Beyonce seemingly owns, I would much rather hang out with Rihanna. Think of Beyonce as the really hot but snobby homecoming queen, and Rihanna is the hot cool chick who hangs out with the nerds.

Regardless, the intermixing of "Jungle Love" and "Umbrella" was a highlight of the night.

Grade: A

Speaking of Beyonce, she and Tina Turner showed off plenty of leg to "Proud Mary," but it again demonstrated Knowles' primary weakness. She can't sing, not when compared with many other pop stars. She's marginal at best.

Tina looked as if she had already joined Ike in the afterlife. She had clearly just been botoxed, and the wig wasn't happening. However, the performance was. The woman can sing.

Grade: B

One of the aspects of live performance Carrie Underwood will have to get used to is the fact that she's not on American Idol anymore. During "Before He Cheats," Underwood merely sang. She sang well, and she was looking smokin' hot, but if one is going to have this elaborate backdrop with Stomp! style drummers and fire, flames and boogeymen behind her, she should do something besides give a good karaoke performance.

On the other hand, she has one of the cleanest voices in music. Might be a tad blase at times, but pitch-perfect she is.

Grade: C+

The best rock band in America did its thing outside, so they could do a little screaming. Foo Fighters played "The Pretender" complete with a John Paul Jones-directed orchestra, and one journalist described it as Jones doing his Kashmir best for Dave Grohl and company.

I have said this before, and I mean no offense. I am not so sure the most talented part of Nirvana didn't play at the Grammy's last night. Grohl is amazing, and "The Pretender" is a great song.

Grade: A

Speaking of a glowing review, I'll give you three of them:

1. Lang Lang and Herbie Hancock. "Rhapsody In Blue" was the first Gershwin work with which I identified as a boy. Still love it, and in retrospect, I loved that Hancock got to play it with the Chinese prodigy just an hour or so before his upset win.

After Hancock won Album of the Year honors, Vince Gill was asked about Herbie's win and the fact that he didn't win for "These Days" and that neither Kanye nor Amy won. Gill said that Hancock was probably a better musician than the rest of them put together.

Mind you, Vince Gill is a great musician. But, he's also right.

Seriously, at some point, we have to start considering Gill a legend, too. I would not have minded one bit if HE would have won. Good guy.

Grade: A

2. Amy Winehouse. No, her voice wasn't up to par, but the performance was. It was buzz-worthy, and her band was smokin', particularly when you consider it was 4 a.m. in London.

If nothing else, you have to give her props for being interesting.

Grade: A

3. Daft Punk. Yes, Kanye West mumbled some words to a Daft Punk song, and -- yes -- I am being completely insulting to the deity who is Kanye West. However, the only thing that is cool about "Stronger" was done by Daft Punk, and it was a terrific performance.

West ruined it by trying to sing and blabbering on about his mother. Like I wrote last night, I mean no offense and certainly sympathize with his loss. However, he comes off sounding like a retarded manchild, what with Donda feeding him soup when he caught a cold as a toddler.

Are we developing a generation of morons? An idiocracy? We can't do better than this?

But I'll give it up for "Stronger." That was some cool stuff in terms of the whole computer-pop vibe. Now, go check out Herbie Hancock when he originated it 25 years ago.

Grade: A but only for "Stronger".

Other performances of note included Feist doing "1234," and I like the song. But her performance sounded like any other offering I could have heard at any other coffee house in North America. Unplugged and subdued, Feist's talent is in her songwriting. So, I cut her a big break there. She's a genuine talent, but this performance was not one to leave a big first impression with the millions who have never heard her.

Grade: C

Keely Smith, Kid Rock and Dave Koz alliteratively took the stage (get it? K-K-K? wait. that's pretty scary.) to belt out the 1958 hit "That Ol' Black Magic," which Smith made famous with Louis Prima.

I felt bad for Keely because Kid Rock was clearly drunk or high. Kid Rock is typically one of those underrated talents, somebody I'll actually defend at a musician's level. BUt last night, he was a waste of space.

Grade: D

I'll be the first to admit I don't like neo-pop classical. I don't get the whole Josh Groban phenomenon. However, Andrea Bocelli is seriously growing on me. There is a subtlety to his voice, an aura to his stage presence that is unlike anything this genre has produced in my lifetime.

Bocelli was paying homage to the late Luciano Pavarotti, but methinks we'll one day pay tribute to Bocelli.

Groban gets a C, but Bocelli gets a Grade: A.

Fergie and John Legend took the stage in a bath of mediocrity. First, there are few performers more overrated than Legend. His artistry is in dire need of some soul, and I hate to say it, but I suspect his popularity is built primarily on the shoulders of white folks who pretend to know something about soul music.

And then we get travesties like Alicia Keys winning an R&B Grammy over the great Jill Scott, over Chrisette Michele. Perhaps Legend simply hasn't convinced me he's the next Donny Hathaway just yet.

On the other hand, I'll say this again, as I have a billion other times. Fergie has a pretty good voice. She thinks she's a hip-hop street chick, even though she's totally upper middle-class suburbanista, and it creeps me out. But her voice ain't that bad, and it is kind of soulful.

My primary criticism from her performance on Sunday is in her song choice. Fergie sang the tune, "Finally," from The Dutchess, and its lyrics make me insane with references to her destiny. It all came off like a bad homecoming dance song, and it was like she had written this song for the finale of Idol or her high school graduation.

I should know. I wrote a song for my high school graduation, and it makes me cringe to think about it.

Grade: C-

There was the obligatory Gospel performance, and this one featured Aretha Franklin, so it was pretty good. But it was also boring. I would have liked to have seen Smokie Norful up there rockin' it Oklahoma style, but that is pretty much the extent of my Gospel knowledge.

The Beatles were featured in music, via some dance thing Cirque du Soleil did and some movie thing George Martin put together. I didn't watch it though because the second I hear Cirque du Anything, I'm out. I hate that crap. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. I hate Riverdance. I hate Cirque. I don't want to see people in tights or people on trapezes unless I'm bombed out of my mind, and even then, I wouldn't want to.

However, bottom line, is that anything including the Beatles' music can't be half bad. And, I didn't think there was a terrible performance last night from anybody. Like Bono has said, the Grammys are a collision between art and commerce, and the academy purposefully joins as many unlikely pairs as possible.

On occassion they produce magic, and often they fall flat.

My only gripe about last night's Grammys is with you, the supposed music fan. All I have heard today is how the Grammys are a joke for one reason or another, and it all centers on Herbie Hancock's upset win for River: The Joni Letters.

I'll be the first to admit that Back to Black was the better album on many fronts. However, there are really no flaws in Herbie's record either, and the academy definitely likes to reward artists for their bodies of work.

Tony Bennett in 1994. Steely Dan in 2000. Ray Charles in 2005.

However, in all sincerity, River: The Joni Letters was more deserving than any of those three. Like Mario Tarradell of the Dallas Morning News put it on their live blog from Sunday night, Hancock's CD is not something one would pop in for fun. However, it is an accomplished piece of work.

Here's the way I judge Herbie's win. Did you see how excited Quincy Jones got when he announced Hancock had won? He yelled, "Unbelieveable! That's unbelievable, man!"

I went to research and review videos from the 2008 Grammys on YouTube this evening, and I found a ton. But I couldn't find one stinking, single video of Quincy announcing Herbie as the 2008 Album of the Year winner so I could show you how hyped Q was for Herbie.

Maybe that just says it all. And it's a damned shame.