Boy, the Billboard charts get less action than Clay Aiken, and that's saying something.

Most of the hits pretty much keep their positions, except a handful of big movers. Both Jordin Sparks and Ray J move up big this week, respectively, with "No Air" and "Sexy Can I." The former moved up 10 to No. 13, and the latter moved up 11 to No. 18.

I don't have a problem with either song, like I noted last week. In fact, I kinda dig 'em.

However, the two giant movers this week are polished turds, as Toad so aptly called most of today's hit music. Moving from No. 100 all the way to No. 28 is Flo Rida with Timbaland and a song called "Elevator." I call it a song only because I don't feel like really letting loose on it.

It stuns me beyond belief that anybody could listen to this. And to think, our parents had a problem with what we listened to. Ha! This is beyond terrible. OK, I said it.

And then moving from No. 57 to 34 is Mariah Carey with "Touch My Body." The chords and the groove prove quite interesting, but the song's writers decided to give up on melody completely. It's really just a polished turd.

Where's the hope for mankind? It's in Sara Bareilles, whose tune "Love Song" climbs to No. 4 this week. If you have lost all faith in pop music, this should bring you back. What a great song. I love this chick.