I thought I'd name this post "In Defense Of Michael Richards" to garner some attention and to juxtapose some thoughts that would kind of defend him personally while at the same time accounting for the gravity of the words he used during a rant at The Laugh Factory last week.

However, I don't really have a defense for his actions although it's in my nature to defend whoever is in society's crosshairs.

Best I could tell from the video, somebody in the audience was doing something during Richards' routine, such as talking or heckling. I don't know that we know for sure what the folks in the audience were doing.

Richards took exception to it and went nuts. I'm not going to even link to the video or review what he said -- not because I condone suppressing any form of speech but because my thoughts on the matter go way beyond the words Richards used.

Kramer (and I think that's how most of us know him) faces a different situation than Mel Gibson. See, Gibson has power because his films are both critically acclaimed and widely watched. On the other hand, Richards was never able to capitalize on the biggest sitcom of a generation, "Seinfeld."

I hope I'm wrong, but I think it's quite possible Richards is turning into Bob Denver. Denver became a bitter, bitter old man after he was unable to capitalize on the success of Gilligan's Island.

My point about all this is two-fold:

First, in Richards' apology that he gave on Monday night's Late Show with David Letterman, he noted that his comedic routines often revolve around free association. Truth is, modern comedy is often centered around humor that is in bad taste socially without it being this random.

White comics, black comics, Hispanic comics all utilize race as a part of their routines. Some of it is damned funny. Some of it is true, and a lot of it falls into a category I'd call unnecessary. For example (and it's merely one of many examples), comedy where the black comedienne stands up and talks about the general worthlessness of the "black man," while it might speak to the core audience attending a show, is just as offensive to me as Richards' tirade this weekend.

To me, there is no "pass" for using racist concepts in a public environment that makes it any less offensive when one group uses it over another. On the other hand, I don't know jack about comedy, so I don't profess to understand their craft, the history of their art -- although I'll admit to loving some profane comedy.

I likes it when they work blue. Cussing, to me, is funny. Rudeness can be funny.

Richards went too far because his "free association," in this instance was mean.

Now, that leads us into a discussion of the comedian/enne who uses race as something that speaks toward larger concepts. Or sex. I always thought "Dice" could have been that type of guy by utilizing his silly character to show how stupid it was to hold centuries-old sexist ideals.

But, Andrew Clay was never terribly cerebral.

Lenny Bruce, definitely. Richard Pryor, definitely.

Dice --- uh, no.

What's at work here though is one person's reaction to another person. What happened here is that Richards subconsciously let out a giant ball of hate against some other dude who deigned to interrupt his routine, probably by talking to his wife or his buddy.

I know it sounds like some Zig Ziglar inspirational, motivational palaver, but it's true: Each of us chooses how to react to the next person.

I could cite to you instances in which I've held racist thoughts and probably acted in a racist manner toward somebody else. We're human, and we live in a society that constructed us the way we are. On the other hand, I could also cite some very specific instances in which the same was done to me.

What we can hope for as individuals is to approach our relationships with other people, our conversations with other people, whatever interaction we might have with other humans with respect. Go into a situation respecting the voice and the opinion of the other person -- whether you really do or not -- and you will win that relationship.

I should note: I fail at this about half the time.

However, I always try to take note of that habit while under stressful circumstances so that I don't unnecessarily lash out at somebody else just for being within the sound of my voice. THAT is what I suspect happened here with Richards.

While nothing that those audience members might have done was worth Richards' tirade, I promise you that human nature dictates that he was probably an emotional time-bomb going into his routine that night. The real crime, from a comedic perspective, is that he was unable to handle his hecklers better.

From what little I do know about comedy, THAT is an art unto itself.

As most sports fans know already, the great Bo Schembechler died on Friday after collapsing in the bathroom of a suburban Detroit television station.

All sports fans know that Michigan and Ohio State play later today.

My familial allegiance stands with the Buckeyes, considering my mom's family hails from northwest Ohio. However, after learning of a punk band on the campus of The Ohio State University, I am more endeared toward them than ever before.

This simply rules.

They're called the Dead Schembechlers, and out of respect for Schembechler's family, they played their last gig under that moniker Friday night with all monies going to a charity of Bo's family's choice.

Each of the band's members dresses up like legendary Ohio State coach Woody Hayes (watch Hayes whack Clemson's Charlie Bauman here), and they've all named themselves "Bo".

Bo Biafra. Bo Thunders. Bo Vicious. Bo Scabies.

But what I love is that their entire musical schtick is in singing songs touting how much Michigan sucks. There are a few pro-OSU tunes, but what's funny is to hear them sing hate songs about Michigan.

Check out this track list from their album Wolvering Destroyer:


3. Bomb Ann Arbor Now

4. I Hate Michigan

5. Michigan Stadium Is A Pile Of Shit

6. I Wipe My Ass With Wolverine Fur

8. I Peed In Ann Arbor's Water Supply

11. M Means Moron

16. Ann Arbor Girls Are Dirty Whores

17. Schembechler Kicked My Crippled Dog

Just two weeks ago, Bo Schembechler acknowledged the band in this article saying:

“Holy smokes, I couldn’t believe it,” Bo told the dispatch. “They’re all dressed like Woody. I think it’s crazy.”

However, the legendary Michigan coach noted that he thought it was cool that he "still mattered in Columbus!"

The band's site -- deadschembechlers.com -- is down right now. They blew their monthly bandwidth allotment hours after the coach's death was announced. However, you can go here to check them out.

Get it while it lasts because they played their last gig Friday night.

I am desperately behind on my television viewing.

I skipped the last four weeks of "Dancing With The Stars" out of sheer boredom.

Although I love "Heroes," I am now two weeks behind.

It seems the workaholism has creeped back into my life. However, it's what I call the good workaholism. Sure, the sweeps period means I'm working way more than the daily eight, but I've been devoting my off time to some projects that mean a lot to me.

First and foremost, I'm trying to get into shape. Hell, I say this every year at some point. Trick is, this time I have mastered two aspects of my diet that have always caused me fits. First, I have curbed my midday chocolate cravings with hard candy, which satisfies the sweet urge without all the calories. Second, I have eliminated ice cream for cereal.

Even a cup of Frosted Flakes, that yummy, sweet concoction of flakes and sugar that tastes GRRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAT! is significantly healthful. However, I've also significantly curbed portions, and I'm counting virtually every calorie for the sake of knowledge more than for anality.

The result is a tangible, non-dehydrated five-pound weight loss.

I have dipped from 215 to 210 in one month. I don't think that this drop is too steep. My exercise level has only been moderate, although I've found that the more I work out, the more I want to. It's not so much that it's addictive; it's that I find I can tolerate much more of it as I go along in addition to the fact that, yeah, it's addictive.

My goal is 175. Once I get there, I plan to pack on 15 pounds of muscle. Ripped. Torn. But, not like Rip Torn. Ripped and torn. You get the idea.

And, Britney Spears is my inspiration. I'm gonna marry that girl someday.

Headlines for the morning after:

I'm moving into a new phase of designs for ryanwelton.com, meaning that I'm headed for a new look. In an attempt to keep up with the blog joneses, I realize that my blog needs to incorporate way more photos. Images. Video links. The best blogs in the biz -- perezhilton.com, gawker.com, TMZ etc. -- all are image and video heavy.

One of my projects involves listening to as many albums from this year as I can in order to put together a Top 10 for 2006. Most of the albums on my list will be CDs that have pervaded my existence positively for some part of the past 12 months. The CDs need to have been either new this year or prominent this year, meaning that it could have been released in late 2005. So far, I have identified eight albums worthy of the list, a couple of which might surprise or stun you. Stun is probably a tad drastic.

Freelancing. I'm doing lots of that. I've got three articles to do for an edition of Practical eCommerce, so the writing chops are getting some work.

Lastly, snoozes. I'm getting as much sleep as possible, literally sleeping in to excess some days or going to bed extra early on others. I guess the transition I've made from this summer to now revolves around time management. For example, I spent three hours last weekend doing nothing but playing my guitar, which was time perfectly spent considering my growing fascination with the instrument, my steady improvement on it and the general zen associated with strumming, writing and listening.

TV be damned. I might not watch again.

Never worry. Idol comes back in two months. No chance I miss that.

In my previous post, I noted that I hate country songs that reference Jesus. However, it would have been more accurate to say that I hate country, pop, whatever songs that openly reference religions as a means of praise.

That should be left to the contemporary Christian artists and worship leaders. The minute that gets intermingled into popular music, I think, a line has been crossed.

However, reason I write this is because I never meant I didn't like the metaphorical use of religion within lyrics. Hell -- pun intended -- I got my highest marks from the folks at TAXI three years ago on a tune I wrote called "Pray," in which the storyline centered on a dude who was so pained by his divorce that he was led to faith as a means of desperation.

I used to believe in a school of thought

that divine intervention couldn't cure what I got

But I left it in higher hands

cause I soon realized God has a plan

And i know that society gets a little suspicious

when we get down on our knees

Whoever reviewed my demo loved the heck out of it, lyrically. Perhaps, one would have to hear the music that goes with it.

Nevertheless, there is a country song -- an actual popular one as opposed to the cassette tapes I have laid away here at the house -- that is a brilliant use of religion as a metaphor. It's Rodney Atkins' "If You're Going Through Hell," and it not only centers on hell as a spiritual domain, but it mechanically references it like one would a town.

If you're going through hell

Keep on going, Don't slow down

If you're scared, don't show it

You might get out

Before the devil even knows you're there

It's at once good and bad that country music is so known by its lyricists' willingness to turn phrases and meanings for the sake of easy wonderment on the part of listeners like me. However, most of the bad is overshadowed by masterful wordsmithing.

The part of country writing I never could deal with is the constant writing and rewriting. My issue was only with the latter. The process is so formulaic and so without room for spontaneity or, hell, I'll say it -- art -- that I wouldn't be able to deal with it for too long.

That's not to say there aren't millions of artful country songs. There are. However, turning on your typical new country music station ain't gonna deliver those more than about a third of the time. You'll have to pay attention to deep album cuts, starving songwriters, Americana stations and Time-Life albums for those.

A discussion with a colleague the other day introduced to her my general disdain for Brooks & Dunn. Long story short, she referred to their work as "amazing," and I literally cringed.

However, I think I inadvertently gave the impression that I hated country music. Nothing is further from the truth, but I can only take it in doses.

Heck, I actually do like a couple of Brooks & Dunn tunes, including "Building Bridges," off their 2005 CD "Hillbilly Deluxe," but it's not exactly country. It's more folk-soul. Nevertheless, our conversation got me back on a country kick.

It'll last only for a few days, but to give you an idea of what I do like in the genre, I should explain what I hate about country music:

1. If your tune refers to Jesus, I'll hate it. Case in point: Brooks & Dunn's "Believe."

2. If your country song refers to your kids, I will hate it, hate it, hate it.

3. If your country song refers to a made-up word, such as Trace Adkins' "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk," I will despise it.

Basically, any tune that makes me feel as if the actual smarts are being sucked from my head will cause me to cringe, and -- therefore -- I will hate it. On the other hand, country music has always employed THE best songwriters.

When they're on, they're on, and -- frankly -- the genre can hardly be beaten.

Take Charlie Robison's "New Year's Day:"

Well, I woke up early Sunday morning

Had myself a piece of toast

Had $50 in my pocket

Gonna chase myself a ghost

Went down Camino Espinoza

Gonna get me a divorce

I'm gonna split with all my money

See that girl who loves a horse

That is dark and humorous.

I've always loved Jerry Jeff Walker and even the politically-WAY-incorrect David Allen Coe. There is more soul in their music that 50 percent of R&B and 90 percent of today's rock music.

So, I can't say I hate country music. I like it in general, but what I appreciate is great, great songwriting, and that can take the flavor of all sorts of styles.

Quick, quick notes:

Emmitt Smith will win "Dancing With The Stars," Season III, in a cakewalk. He is enormously popular nationally, but I think this season has been a giant dud. A bore with nobody to root for, and I suspect that -- honestly -- watching season after season of B-list celebs dancing will get really old, really fast.

Muskogee's Roughers come to Norman next week to play the Norman North Timberwolves at Harve Collins Stadium, which is one block from my house. You can bet I will be there Saturday night, rooting on my Muskogee peeps. Go Roughers!

Henryetta's Knights are headed to Tulsa for a Saturday night date with Cascia Hall, in what I think is a perfect matchup for the Okmulgee County underdogs (10-1). Given the bracket they're in, I think li'l ol' Henryetta could go as far as the semifinals, and I'm being dead serious.

I will be dead truthful though -- there's no way the Knights beat Vian (semis) or Chandler/Millwood (finals). In fact, I think it's Vian-Millwood for the state title in 2A. In 6A, although I love my Roughers, I gotta think Jenks and Mustang are headed for a title date. Reason I pick Mustang over Westmoore is heart. The Broncos are all about it, and Westmoore has struggled at some very inopportune times.

Good night on the football front, as both my Muskogee Roughers and Henryetta Knights won first-round playoff matches. It's still stunning to me to see Henryetta's record sit at 10-1.

Wild.

And, with the Oklahoma Sooners looking to take revenge on Texas Tech later today, I thought I'd give a simple shout out to the memory of a man I befriended during my two years in South Texas, from 1994-1996.

His name was F.D. "Smitty" Smith, and he died Tuesday at the age of 86. Smitty was a giant OU Sooners fan in a vast wilderness of Texas A&M hell -- and, yes, I do mean hell. Great town El Campo was, but the Ags are a tad overbearing.

He was also a great guy, even if he had the extra bonus trait of bleeding crimson and cream. Smitty and I watched a couple of basketball games at his house together, just sitting back in recliners. One of the games I recall pretty well -- down by 10 or so to the Texas Longhorns, Ryan Minor led new coach Kelvin Sampson's team to a 100-78 or so rout.

I didn't spend a lot of time in the recliner because I was too busy pumping my fists, an energy I think the old man enjoyed.

Smitty was married to the accountant at the newspaper I worked for, and she's a gem, too, particularly for marryin' a carpetbagger Sooner in the middle of Ags and Texas orangebloods. Sometimes, he'd wander on over to the Leader-News and visit with me about the Ricebirds (who open up their playoff run against LaMarque next week), the Sooners or his beloved San Francisco Giants.

My hunch was always that he was actually a New York Giants fan from back in the 1940s, but I never recalled asking. I do remember specifically rooting for the Giants in 2002 against the Angels solely because I knew they were Smitty's team -- and I did figure he was getting up in years.

It's not like we stayed in contact one minute past my departure from what is honestly a great small town in the middle of Texas. If they didn't have so many damned Aggies, it might be a perfect town, and I say that with a giant dose of kidding considering half the Longhorns who live there say it everyday.

However, for a young, dumb kid in the middle of Texas who was essentially eight hours away from anything resembling family, having ol' Smitty nearby was a fair replacement for two years, and I always enjoyed talking to that guy.

Quick Notes Before The Weekend's Officially On:

Speaking of death, we've had a barrage of it lately in the world of celebrity. Ed Bradley, Jack Palance, Adrienne Shelley and Gerald Levert. And, I'm still leading my deadpool league by 60 points.

I am the master of celebrity deaths, but I haven't had a hit in months. However, if I can just stave off my competition for the next month and a half, I will be crowned the 2006 champion, my first year in the league.

I'd like to thank the Academy ... all the little people ...

Do any of you listen to Loveline Uncensored? It's the radio show that got turned into an MTV program featuring Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Corolla a decade ago, and it struck me odd tonight listening to it for the first time, while driving home from work, that it hasn't drawn more ire from Oklahoma parents.

The first question came from a 16-year-old girl who asked Dr. Drew something about getting ejaculation in her eye. My thought was that parents would flip OUT if they heard their kids listening to this. On the other hand, Dr. Drew explained that the girl could get chlamydia or gonorrhea of the eye.

Holy %$#&!

This is highly educational!

You might have figured I'd blog once or twice right after the Democrats staged an impressive win Tuesday night. However, I was busy working 35 hours in two days to provide election coverage online to folks in central and eastern Oklahoma and western Arkansas.

I even made a TV appearance live Tuesday night on KOCO. That's the first time I've been on-air in the year and a half I've been at the station. However, I'd love to entertain the idea of doing it more often when the Internet plays a key role in stories.

On a personal note, I'm not all that excited about all those Dems winning. Look, it's not like voters decided all of a sudden that they espoused liberalism.

They rejected President Bush, the war in Iraq, congressional scandal and the general inability to get the job done -- whatever that means to the individual. My sense is that Democrats still face the challenge of communicating what it is exactly that they stand for because this is what I call a negative campaign.

Voters selected Dems only because they were the other choice.

Unfortunately, for a progressive such as myself, the big Democratic winners were primarily middle-of-the-road conservative Democrats, which underscores my belief that, really, who won big Tuesday night were moderate Republicans.

I was telling a colleague today that what we have in this country is the Right and the Far Right. Hell, I'm not even far left, and most of my opinions are barely espoused by anybody in federal government.

Nevertheless, I did my duty and voted. I hope you did, too, but as I also noted on Sunday -- no worries if you didn't. A big chunk of me could care less about politics at all, probably the smart half of me.

It's like sports. We're just rooting for the uniforms.

Does a good Democrat really know what newly elected Montana Senator Jon Tester stands for specifically? Or, do you merely know that he's a Dem? Same goes for Republicans.

We're rooting for the laundry.

My buddy J from D.C. had said weeks ago that he was excited about the prospects of Tom Vilsack running for president in 2008. I thought to myself, "From Iowa? You've got to be kidding. The only Iowan we've had as president was Herbert Hoover, and that worked out -- not!"

However, I saw the guy on TV today. He's a big man. Strapping. Looks like a farmer, a country guy. Better looking than the pic on Wikipedia, but not slick like a John Kennedy or Bill Clinton.

There is something about his look, right off the bat, that I think would resonate with middle America and Southerners. He IS Catholic, and there is a giant bias against Catholics much of America, particularly in southern states that don't have a ton of Hispanics. What I'm saying is that his faith could be tough going for him at some point.

My hope, politically, is that this guy is a Tom Harkin-style populist, which is really what I'm about. For the farmer. For the union. For the minority -- every minority. For the use of good government, when doing good for down people. For the elimination of bad government, when merely in the business and pocketbooks of its citizens for no reason. For liberty over safety.

What I'm really saying is that if this guy is as steady as he seems, with the Farmer Dan look he's pulling off, watch out. He'll appeal to rural voters and possibly Southerners ... and, that's all you need to win if the past 10 or so presidential elections is any indication.

However, right now, I don't know Jack about the guy. And, just because he's a Democrat doesn't mean one iota about my preference for the man. My support stands with true progressives who won't sacrifice our beliefs for achieving power.

I'd rather lose and stand firm in what I believe in.

But, now for some notes about winning:
Carrie Underwood won a pair of huge trophies at the CMA Awards on Monday, and I couldn't be happier for her. While I wasn't a big fan of hers during her Idol days, I'll give it up to how she's performed since winning the FOX talent show in 2005.

She's huge, and she's good. Her album "Some Hearts" was tremendous, and "Jesus Take The Wheel" is one of the better country songs of the past two or three years.

Plus, she's from Checotah, which is in my neck of the woods. Good for her.

You know what's scary? She was born on March 10, 1983, in Muskogee. I lived in Muskogee then, and our house was right across 32nd Street from Muskogee's hospital. It's damned likely I was out playing ball when she popped out from her momma, within a bad basketball shot over our fence of being in the hospital parking lot the moment she was born.

Talk about brushes with fame.

Watch my TV clip -- I'm a TV star, too.

And, on the other side of the country, Rutgers beat No. 3 Louisville tonight to claim the Scarlet Knights' biggest win in school history. Mind you, Rutgers invented college football, or at least they started it with a game against Princeton in 1869.

Rutgers under Greg Schiano is 9-0 for the first time since 1976, but ranked in the Top 15 probably for the first time ever -- and they'll come close to cracking the Top 10 next week.

Deservedly so. But, I'll make a bold statement. Should the Scarlet Knights run the table, beating a good West Virginia team, they should get heavy consideration to play in a national title game against either Ohio State or Michigan.

There is no doubt that Schiano is the coach of the year in college football, even as great a job as Bob Stoops has done here in Oklahoma. It just doesn't compare to what Rutgers is pulling off.

What makes me think they are as good as they are is that they can run the football well. In fact, that is their primary offensive strength, which combined with a stout defense is the stuff champions are made of.

Most of the time when a team comes out of nowhere in college football, it's about one star or a gimmick offense. But, no. Rutgers plays smash-mouth football, and their defense is stud.

Not saying they'd beat the Buckeyes or Wolverines, but I know they could. It is absolutely within the realm of possibility, and if we don't have a playoff in college football and there are no other unbeatens, then to deny Rutgers a chance at the title would be a crime.

In the on-the-tip-of-my-mind department:

I have a healthy fascination with The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Over the past couple of years, I've been making it a point to rent seasonal discs to watch each episode one by one. Now that the show's creators agreed to release four of the seasons, I'll have a lot from which to pick.

First, you can't beat a young Mary Tyler Moore. Valerie Harper is sexy. Heck, a young Cloris Leachman was damned good looking (she was a beauty queen, in case you didn't know). How these three broads (70s speak) were single is beyond me.

I know. Phyllis was married to Lars, but we never saw this cat, so I'm not buying that she wasn't at least a little bit available.

What's funny is that the company I work for is based in Minneapolis, and I've always put in the back of my mind that, one day, I might actually live in Minneapolis. Maybe I'd get to meet Mary Richards and Rhoda Morgenstern, and if they're still single, who knows?

Finally, an interesting article about Dane Cook, asking the question whether the multi-millionaire comedian is actually funny. Now, I have only listened to parts of his recordings, primarily because I personally have found him to be completely devoid of anything funny to say.

So, I'm thinking to myself, "Hell, I might not be the only one."

My brother, who is only six years younger than me, thinks he's very funny. I'm going to make myself listen to at least one full Dane Cook CD this weekend just to make sure I'm not totally wrong about this guy.

Now, I never found Richard Pryor to be funny. I don't need to hear MF a billion times to laugh. I never found Sam Kinison to be funny. Who needs yelling? That wasn't funny to me. George Carlin is clever, not funny. Seinfeld clever, not funny. Bob Newhart clever, not funny.

I do not laugh when I hear or see those people. But, I appreciate their art tremendously.

On the other hand, Chris Rock is damned funny. Steve Martin is funny. Roseanne Barr can be funny. Eddie Murphy, too. Robin Williams is a bit manic, and his hyperactivity wears on me, but he's funny.

Jonathan Winters is hilarious. Dave Chappelle is genius. Denis Leary is very entertaining, but doesn't exactly evoke a belly laugh.

Ron White's "Tater Salad" CD is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.

Margaret Cho can be viciously funny, as can Kathy Griffin and Joan Rivers.

Love Dave Attel. Hate Wanda Sykes.

Bernie Mac and all the Kings of Comedy ... funny, funny, funny. Heck, Bernie Mac is part of the reason "Bad Santa" was as funny as it was, and the man's sitcom on FOX was excellent.

Robert Schimmel is very, very funny.

Norm MacDonald is greatness.

Sorry, but I thought Andrew Dice Clay was funny for at least a short while.

Nevertheless, my point is that I'm not so sure that Dane Cook isn't the first comic who is at once completely unfunny but also not clever or artful. Am I totally wrong here?

Much is made this time of year of the American's duty to vote regardless of interest or knowledge. Civics classes teach that Americans are obligated to vote just because -- because it's the central symbol of our rights as a free nation.

However, the older I get, the more I think this is complete hogwash.

The obligation to vote in political races, to me, is no more present than it is for me to vote in Week 9 of American Idol. Now, it's not that I am saying this for me because I will vote. Because there are a couple of races I am interested in, enough such that I don't mind writing in non-existent candidates in races in which I have no information, no interest or no favorite.

But for you -- the apathetic, the disillusioned, the uninterested -- I say don't let anybody else tell you that you must vote or, particularly, talk down to you for not voting. The most basic of communications scholastics are clear in that no feedback is just as legitimate a form of feedback as the very feedback itself.

Some opinion states that the American citizen -- even if apathetic, disillusioned or uninterested -- must do his or her duty on Election Day even if the individual makes a conscious choice to provide no feedback by not voting, which in my mind is essentially vote suppression if acted upon because the citizen's choice not to vote is essentially a vote.

Who could blame those of us whose ideals are on the fringe. I mean progressives and the far right. Look, those of us who align ourselves with true populist movements and/or evangelical leanings are not aptly represented at enough levels of government to make voting in all cases a must for most of the time, there aren't enough candidates who fit our interests.

However, most of us still vote to help make sure that one progressive or fascist (couldn't resist a jab) does emerge victorious from his or her race.

Alas, I am now and forever will be among the minority of people who firmly believes that voting as a social or civic obligation in American society is not only completely overrated in terms of its worth, but it truly suppresses the very freedom it represents.

News & Notes From The Weekend

1. A kind of boring defensive battle between the Oklahoma Sooners and Texas A&M Aggies turned into a mini-classic late Saturday when Bob Stoops made a gutsy, gutsy decision to go for it on fourth down in his own territory to preserve a 17-16 win in College Station. After attempting an onside kick earlier in the night, in combination with the gutsy last call, Big Game Bob is back. Furthermore, Oklahoma stands a great chance to go 10-2 this season, which if they do should net Stoops certain national-coach-of-the-year honors. Stunning, but this is the second year in a row where we've stunk at the beginning and become better, steadier toward the end of the season. Bravo.

2. Went to watch Borat this weekend, and it was almost the funniest movie I've ever seen. That honor still goes to Bad Santa, which wasn't merely funny, it was dark and brilliant. However, Borat was still wonderful, and it looks like box-office numbers are going to stun the industry come Monday because it looks like this movie, which opened in only 837 theatres, is going to beat out Santa Clause 3. A victory for humor.

3. The latest poll taken by KOTV in Tulsa says illegal immigration is the third most pressing issue to Oklahomans behind education and a combination of economy and unemployment. Of course, other polls have shown illegal immigration has a stronger hold in the mindsets of Okies. My gut feel, based on feedback I get, is that illegal immigration is even more of a concern to Oklahomans than this poll lets on.

I certainly don't mean to rain on anybody's parade; however, education problems in Oklahoma would be simple to resolve if more parents would take a truly positive, active role in the lives of their children. One of my friends homeschools, which is exactly what I mean. Picking up an extra job or some freelance work to send your kiddos to parochial school over public would be another. Furthermore, I have never been one of those who believes that every parent is fit to take an active role in their child's education because, frankly, sometimes it's the state's duty to ensure that kid can at least become smarter than his or her parents.

As far as Oklahoma's economy, it's also quite simple. Fix the state's infrastructure -- roads. Eliminate the state income tax. The fair way to bring in the funds to pay for those roads is by increasing property taxes and sales taxes. Frankly, I don't have a problem with higher "sin" taxes.

First, homeowners would be grateful long-term for the increase in worth of their land that comes about by having better industry come to Oklahoma. Second, drivers would save money long-term by reducing the wear and tear on their vehicles caused by terrible -- and I mean terrible -- roads here in the Sooner State. Lastly, sales taxes have always been the most equitable because they raise money from those who choose to spend and reward those who choose to save.

So, go vote Tuesday if you've got a reason. And, for those who don't feel like it, don't wanna or abstain in protest, for whatever reason, don't let anybody make you feel less for your decision. There is nothing special about the practice of marking a ballot. We've proved that as Americans by having the lowest voting rates of any civilized nation for decades.

As for me, there is one race I'm interested in -- enough so that I will vote. However, you'll never know which race that is, er, well unless I've spilled those beans in a previous post.

I have nothing Earth-shattering to say, so I'm offering a few links to sites that caught my interest:

Terrific article from Men's Health on eating right without having to think, primarily by developing habits and routines. It's one of the better articles of this nature I've read in that I'm all about convenience. If it ain't easy and convenient, I won't do it.

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Want to know what races will be featured on your ballot next Tuesday? Click here to visit vote-usa.org. Don't know who put this together, but it's very easy to use and I think worthy of more buzz.

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Headline of the day: Have You Slept With Neil Patrick Harris?

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School bus driver fired for giving President Bush the finger during a recent visit to the Emerald City. Sorry, I think many of us would like to give Dubya the finger from time to time, but presidential visits in this country still require decorum. I say the bus driver completely deserved the firing, particularly since if flipped Bush off in front of kiddos.

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Last but not least, my friend and often my musical partner in crime Sharon singing an impromptu version of "Not an Addict" recently. Posted to YouTube, fools.

God Bless America, I love "The View".

Not that I have time to watch it with the sound up, but each day there is a 15-minute period where the women talk about the issues of the day. If one of them gets their hair all aflutter, I turn up the sound to see what's up.

It's not merely entertaining. ABC's "The View" has legitimately turned into one of the better topic-oriented debate shows on television. There aren't a ton of spinmeisters in remote locations shouting at each other, and the show's hosts simply are not afraid to offend middle America -- odd, considering the show is directed toward middle America.

The John Kerry fiasco is dying down somewhat, given that the Massachusettes senator apologized. Look, nobody thought he really believed our troops to be stupid or undereducated or a bunch of bumpkins. However, after harping on Dubya for the content of his words and his inability to form coherent thoughts with words, liberals are obligated to say things properly. To mean what they say, and to apologize profusely the minute they gaffe, with the knowledge that admitting a mistake immediately is almost to diffuse it completely.

Democrats like Harold Ford, of Tennessee, were 100 percent right to be pissed at Kerry. Ford is in one heck of a race out there, and Kerry's going to come along and mess it up for him?

Nevertheless, the Kerry topic came up on The View. What I loved is that, more and more, the dimwitted and completely vapid Elisabeth Hasselback is raising the hackles of the very bright, sharp Joy Behar. Ms. Survivor called Kerry "Mel without the booze," and Behar wondered why it is everybody is making a big deal about Kerry's verbal gaffe when she (her words) could have compiled a book with President Bush's verbal missteps.

Barbara Walters was having Gran Mal seizures, and I was having an intellectual orgasm.

Rosie injected the most sense into the conversation, reminding everybody that 100-plus Americans died in Iraq last month, noting that our focus should still be there, not on the Kerry incident. Oddly enough, my sense is that America still agrees.

I didn't get any e-mails from folks suggesting Kerry be hanged. On the contrary, I got a ton of notes from Oklahomans suggesting that this issue is really a non-issue, a way for Republicans to "change the subject" several days before a midterm election.

We'll see next Tuesday what effect this had on the public; however, for the time being, I say "Bravo" to the general for not overreacting.

I still maintain the level of frustration I showed in yesterday's post about Kerry. That was just an unacceptable gaffe one week before a midterm election.

5 Things You Need To Know:

1. The NBA season has started. It's the happiest time of year, as the most talented, entertaining professional sports league begins its eight-month grind. I love it and have already watched parts of four games in two days, including a Hornets win over Boston tonight and a Clippers matchup against Phoenix on ESPN.

2. The Dallas Stars are off to their best start in franchise history at 10-2, after a 4-1 win over the St. Louis Blues on Wednesday night. I haven't been able to get back into the NHL since the strike, not so much because of the new league rules but because of the lack of a decent television contract.

3. College basketball starts in a couple weeks. One OU team is a favorite to win a national title, and the other might not win 10 games this year.

4. Before you start inhaling Halloween candy leftover from trick-or-treating just because they're bite-sized, you should know that most miniature candy bars are 80-100 calories a pop. It's super easy to down six to eight to 22 of them in an afternoon should it get really busy and hectic and your tummy starts to growl and ... Is there a 12-step group for people with a chocolate problem?

5. My buddy T and I keep discussing crime rates in Oklahoma City and Dallas, comparing them. Of course, the problem with statistics is that there are 45 different flavors with hundreds of interpretations. He bragged the other day about Norman being selected as the 48th safest city in America by some survey, which is all fine and dandy to me. He's preaching to the choir. However, Edmond today was named the 8th safest city in America by some other survey.

Look, I can point out 800 towns across Oklahoma that are all safer than Edmond and Norman put together. The difference is that nobody and nothing is there to attract people to begin with. Gotebo is safe. Holdenville is safe. Okarche is safe. Gene Autry is safe. Tonkawa is safe.

Safety is vastly overrated. Predictability is not.

For example -- and this has always been my argument with him -- in Dallas, one knows where the vast majority of violence will happen. Give me any part of Dallas and any suburb in the Metroplex, and I can give you a feel for how safe that part of town is.

In Tulsa, one knows where the violence will happen.

In all those po-dunk safe towns, one knows where the violence will happen (and, that is, it won't).

But, in Oklahoma City, it's random. It happens everywhere. There is no really safe neighborhood outside of Nichols Hills, which for a "ritzy" area is no safer than any other "ritzy" area in America. BTW, why is it that robbers and burglars don't go to the "ritzy" neighborhoods? Seems they could make off with better booty, no?

It's not a knock on OKC by any means. They've made great strides downtown, creating something that is vastly superior to many other major cities and most all other mid-sized cities. However, residentially, I still see it as being extremely inferior, particularly as it pertains to crime.

It's funny. Last year, a colleague of mine who also hails from Dallas, said that he felt safer there than in Oklahoma City. His notation was in response to some comment from me about how low the crime rate is in Norman relative to Big D.

However, more than a year later, I see where he's coming from.

Nevertheless, I still maintain that safety is vastly overrated as long as wherever one lives has enough culture and fun to make that risk worthwhile.

Norman's getting better. I mean, they are getting a Starbucks two blocks from me. Hallelujah.

If ever you wanted to understand American politics and why our society is like it is, why our government is like it is, with nary a progressive at our elected fingertips, take these two paragraphs from a Tuesday evening Reuters wire story:

Democratic Sen. John Kerry drew election-year fire from President George W. Bush and other Republicans on Tuesday for saying college students could "get stuck in Iraq" if they do not study hard.



But Kerry, who unsuccessfully challenged Bush in the 2004 presidential election, refused to apologize and said his remark was a "botched joke" aimed at the president, not U.S. troops.

The distinguished Massachusettes senator has singlehandedly put the Dems in a position where next Tuesday could become an astonishing snatch of defeat from the jaws of victory -- in classic Democrat style. Kerry's verbal bumblings have made our current president's lack of English command look quite appealing considering George W. Bush really isn't all that book-smart.

Kerry's suggestion that troops serving in Iraq are stupid or undereducated is at once untrue and unmeant but also a gaffe that has real ramifications for liberals all across the country. Republicans finally have the ammunition they've needed, the verbal proof that liberals are elitist snobs who really look down on the men and women who choose to do our battles.

John Kerry should do more than apologize. He should resign from the Senate and be permanently disaffiliated with the Democratic party. Banished. And, I'm deadly serious.

Callling the troops "stupid," if even a bad joke, is pretty much socially tantamount to using the "N" word. It's inexcusable.

To any ordinary, right-minded citizen, an apology would seemingly do. However, in an age of YouTube, in an age where liberals have prided themselves on making fun of Dubya's speech, mannerisms and strategery, a gaffe this huge is mind-blowing.

It honestly reminds me of the scene from David Mamet's "Glengarry Glen Ross" where Kevin Spacey's character completely blows a ruse Al Pacino (Richard Roma) has going with Jack Lemmon on a sale of land to Jonathan Pryce, on which he had since reneged.

Roma was so overcome by anger and astonishment at the lack of competence displayed by his office manager (Spacey) in saying that a check Pryce had written for land already been deposited at a bank that Pacino's character let Spacey's have it with an eloquence deserving of Kerry today (the language is harsh, but coming from Pacino's lips, it's pure art):

You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson, I'm talking to you, shithead. You just cost me $6,000. Six thousand dollars, and one Cadillac. That's right. What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it, asshole? You're fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Who ever told you that you could work with men? Oh, I'm gonna have your job, shithead.

Insert "Kerry" for Williamson.