Work after a whopping five hours of sleep is always a bit laborious. However, today's the day we got the 528-page report from the University of Oklahoma regarding its investigation into fraudulent employment at a Norman car dealership.

Actually, it wasn't a "report." It was documentation related to the investigation; however, it all goes to the NCAA. Interesting finds were plentiful.

Coaches were interviewed, and they all denied knowing about players getting paid for no work. I believe them. The documentation indicates that most of the players went on their own to the dealership to secure employment, out of the eye of coaches and compliance.

Furthermore, many of the players took employment at Big Red not even knowing what their jobs were. Am I a lot porter? A detailer? WTF? Again, this points, and the summary report from Tuesday pointed to the premise that this wasn't so much one of those college-football-cheating scams as it was shoddy management on the part of a car dealership whose management wanted to "do the school a favor."

I promise you: OU doesn't need favors to garner great football talent. They've done fine by themselves for years and years and years. However, combine the "monster" of Oklahoma college football with good-ol-boys lookin' to get an in, and you've got a recipe for bad behavior.

The beauty of this scandal isn't that it happened. It sucks. Rhett Bomar was infinitely more talented at QB than Paul Thompson. The beauty is how David Boren and Bob Stoops and the entire university handled it. With precision. With decision. You're gone. You're gone. Done.

Who's next?

With the growth of the casino industry in central Oklahoma at a torrid pace, Stoops has long forbidden his players from going to them. One such player, named in a redacted part of the report (it's easy to figure out), was actually kicked off the team some time back for visiting a casino at one point.

Doesn't mean things like this don't happen at OU or at any major university; however, not everybody in this state or this area is a Sooner fan. Lots of OSU folks. Lots of folks from other states. Lots of folks who have to be co-workers with these athletes in these situations. Lots of folks who don't give a rat's ass about football.

In 2006, the digital age of instantaneous information, you will not be able to cheat without a high level of cheater's competency and get away with it. Period.

Anyway, with the rainy weather in the area, it was still a full day. We had a trial going on in Chandler and a Norman murder investigation beginning. However, the day wasn't without its highlights in other areas.

1. If you haven't visited perezhilton.com before, you really should. He's quite the gay gossiper, and he's been credited with outing Lance Bass. Basically, he talks shit about celebs, and he's damned funny and bitter doing so.

I won't note it in detail here, but his line about Joey Lawrence in the upcoming "Dancing With The Stars" season numero tres competition is freakin' hilarious. Gross. But hilarious. Disturbing. But hilarious.

2. I finally watched the last half of "Harold & Kumar" tonight, and I caught the insanely funny bit with Neil Patrick Harris. I had heard about it and had read the quotes, but I had never seen it.

I couldn't even begin to give their dialogue justice here.

3. Looks like freakazoid John Mark Karr's DNA won't match the DNA found at the scene of the JonBenet murder. This would culminate most likely in his release, something I have predicted all along.

Karr is a danger to society, in my opinion, but I am almost certain he had nothing to do with JonBenet's murder. However, I did creep a colleague out a few days ago when I bemoaned, "Awww, come on. He's just a romantic."

It's always entertaining when you can pull a verbal shocker like that. Not that I mean a word of it. He creeps me out, too.

Finally, for those of you who don't know, I start a new year of existence on Saturday. I'll be 36. One of the reasons I gave up on the jazz blog and reverted back to a looser and, hopefully, more entertaining version of my original site was because priority No. 1 for the upcoming year is for me to become more comfortable in my own skin.

To work on myself. Get my proverbial shit together.

Alas, that means taking on a higher level of discipline in my daily routine. My hope is that this site will be the outlet for the rude, gross, humorous and dark musings that enter my brain throughout the course of every waking minute.

The end result could be the ability to muster a moment of clarity, one so well mastered by the aforementioned Doogie Howser in "Harold & Kumar." So, if someone ever says to me, "We've been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We've just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked."

I'll merely reply, "Yeah, dude, you fascinate me. Forget White Castle, let's go get some p****."

Now, that's clarity.