You want to know what grinds my gears? (Family Guy reference ...)

No, the lack of a good priest and rabbi joke doesn't muster any anger within me whatsoever. However, Americans competing for other countries in the Olympics darn near pisses me off, and for those of you who might not understand the big deal, I'll explain it.

In college sports, an athlete can pick from any school that'll have him or her. If I were a stud football player, I could probably pick between Oklahoma and Texas, LSU and Auburn, you name it. Once I made my pick and enrolled in classes, regardless of whether I could "make the first team" or not, I've made my bed.

I'm a Sooner. Or I'm a Longhorn.

If I really wanted to transfer, I could, but it requires that I pick up and move to that school, enrolling in their classes and living near their campus.

Well, a few American athletes, hoping for the chance to compete in the Olympics, took their talents to other countries. Becky Hammon signed on with the Russian national basketball team, and Chris Kaman took his basketball talents to Deutschland. There are other Americans who did this for the Beijing Games, and I have one message for them all.

Move.

Move to Russia. Move to Germany.

I could not imagine wanting to play in the Red River Rivalry so badly that I would don the burnt orange of the University of Texas. I'd rather be a third-string Sooner with nary a chance to see a snap than play for anybody else. Why? I'm Sooner Born, Sooner Bred -- and I chose to go to OU.

Even Kaman's father is pissed at him. Seriously.

To be fair, Kaman's grandparents or great-grandparents took the boat over some century ago. Nevertheless, Chris' dad is right on the money about this. Kaman is no more German than he is a tall black man. He's tall, but he's pasty white.

The ancient Olympics were to honor the gods, but the modern Olympics are supposed to encourage international cooperation and camaraderie. What they do in reality is foster competition between countries that is rooted in politics and pride, meaning that Hammon's decision to play ball for the Russians, at a time when they're attacking the Georgians, is really, really bad.

I understand the athlete's perspective in terms of wanting the experience of playing in the Olympic Games, to which I say: OK, then, get better so you can make your team, the American team.

If one is not good enough to make his own Olympic team, then he or she is not good enough for Olympic competition. In fact, if all athletes got to pick what teams they played for, as if this were some summer league, then the Olympics would lose its appeal to most Americans. What Kaman and Hammon have done is violate the very spirit of this competition.

But if it's bad to play for another country's team, it's even worse to coach it in the Olympics. Jim Lefebvre is doing just that by coaching the CHINESE BASEBALL TEAM.

Are you kidding me?

The Chinese baseball team lost to the USA today 9-1, but in the process, Chinese pitchers beaned American batters SIX TIMES.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Sorry. I can understand coaching some ball in China and working with their club during the World Series of Baseball or some other contrived event. But during the Olympics, you are by birth or citizenship a member of X team.

So, what's the remedy here?

Nothing. Give me a break. Not everything requires booing or boycotting or remedy. Just know in the back of your mind that these are some people who have made a really bad judgment relative to what the Olympics are all about without a lick of caring about what a damned one of us think.

I hope that one day they understand how sorry this really is. It's sorry to the Nth degree.