Democrats are having a fit. The Drudge Report's primary headline says it all: "Will Iger Fold? Democrats Urge ABC To Withdraw 9/11 Movie."

The movie, labeled a dramatization by the network, apparently makes a connection between the Clinton administration's inability to get Bin Laden after the '93 attack on the WTC and the Sept. 11 tragedy.

Clinton's peeps call it defamatory. The Republicans say this is fair game considering those damned liberals (what they'd REALLY like to say is damned Jews, but they're too chicken to show their true stripes) run newsrooms and television stations across the country.

Simmer down. Simmer down.

I mean, it's not like ABC is selling this as the truth, right?

Right. They say it's a dramatization. They're clear about it; however, that matters not to me in the least. The events of Sept. 11 are so etched in the brains of Americans that anything you display about it pretty much has to be factually based for now, at least to the extent that blame should be divided.

To acknowledge that this movie is a dramatization, in my opinion, is to render it devoid of value, regardless of the position taken. Truth is, Clinton let Bin Laden get away before he was the world's greatest terrorist, and Bush let him get away after he killed 3,000 Americans five years ago.

Which is the greater offense? C'mon, that's easy. The latter.

Really, and I'll keep this one short and sweet, the best film one could create, in my opinion, would be one that lasts for seven minutes. It would be called "My Pet Goat," and it would metaphorically tell you all you'd ever, ever need to know about any contrasts this movie might make between Presidents Clinton and Bush relative to 9/11.

The movie would be split screen. On the left would be members of a Republican Congress bitching about a middle-aged white man getting his cock sucked, and on the right would be a middle-aged white man sitting alone with his thoughts, staring at a schoolkids' book, staring at schoolkids while the United States was under attack for the first time in 60 years.

Now, that would be a movie worth watching, a message that might help our fellow Americans make what I think is the appropriate connections and contrasts.