An Australian Web site this week tabulated what they believe to be the 50 gayest songs of all time, based on reader votes -- and this has piqued my interest.
Even us straight folks have our gay peculiarities when it comes to music. For example, my buddy Jake Dakota enjoys Dead Or Alive and "It's Raining Men," by The Weather Girls. My buddy Toad is a huge fan of the band Queen.
And I revere Peter Allen.
Hmmm. Even my own brother -- with his wife and two kids -- listens to Gino Vanelli.
(Cue the theatrical music. Duh-duh-DAH!)
So, just how gay is my musical taste? Let's look at the 50 songs listed by samesame.com.au. I'll label my take on each as either Love It!, Hate It!, Whateva! or Huh?. The latter two mean either that I am lukewarm to the track or that I've never heard of it.
50. Elton John and George Michael “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me”
RYAN: Whateva!
49. Dead or Alive “You Spin Me (Like A Record)”
RYAN: Whateva!
48. Pet Shop Boys “New York City Boy”
RYAN: Huh?
47. Diana Ross “Chain Reaction”
RYAN: Huh?
46. Deborah Harry “I Want That Man”
RYAN: Huh?
45. Cher “Strong Enough”
RYAN: Huh?
44. RuPaul “Supermodel (You Better Work)”
RYAN: Hate It!
43. KD Lang “Constant Craving”
RYAN: Love It!
42. Culture Club “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me”
RYAN: Love It!
41. Chaka Kham “I’m Every Woman”
RYAN: Love It!
40. Wham “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”
RYAN: Whateva!
39. Paul Lekakis “Boom Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room)"
RYAN: Hate It!
38. Kym Mazelle “Young Hearts Run Free”
RYAN: Love It!
37. George Michael “Outside”
RYAN: Huh?
36. Donna Summer “I Feel Love”
RYAN: Whateva!
35. Dannii Minogue “This Is It”
RYAN: Huh?
34. Belinda Carlisle “Summer Rain”
RYAN: Huh?
33. Peter Allen “I Go To Rio”
RYAN: Love It!
32. Sylvester “You Make Me Feel Mighty Real”
RYAN: Huh?
31. Heather Small “Proud”
RYAN: Huh?
30. CeCe Peniston “Finally”
RYAN: Whateva!
29. Madonna “Express Yourself”
RYAN: Whateva!
28. Cyndi Lauper “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
RYAN: Love It! (side note: but mostly I just love Cyndi. Highly underrated artist.)
27. Charlene “I’ve Never Been To Me”
RYAN: Love It! (side note: This song is the most cringeworthy pop song of all time, and it causes me so much pain, I enjoy it.)
26. Tim Curry “Sweet Transvestite”
RYAN: Hate It!
25. Barry Manilow “Copacabana”
RYAN: Love It!
24. Barbara Streisand and Donna Summer “No More Tears”
RYAN: Love It!
23. Whitney Houston “I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)”
RYAN: Whateva!
22. Sister Sledge “We Are Family”
RYAN: Whateva!
21. Queen “I Want To Break Free”
RYAN: Hate It!
20. Dolly Parton “9 to 5”
RYAN: Love It!
19. Coming Out Crew “Free, Gay and Happy”
RYAN: Huh?
18. Village People “In the Navy”
RYAN: Hate It!
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood “Relax”
RYAN: Whateva!
16. Village People “Macho Man”
RYAN: Hate It!
15. Judy Garland “Over The Rainbow”
RYAN: Love It! (side note: but not by Judy Garland)
14. Bronski Beat “Smalltown Boy”
RYAN: Love It!
13. Diana Ross “I’m Coming Out”
RYAN: Love It!
12. Cher “Believe”
RYAN: Hate It!
11. Gloria Gaynor “I Am What I Am”
RYAN: Huh?
10. Alicia Bridges “I Love The Nightlife”
RYAN: Love It!
9. Madonna “Vogue”
RYAN: Whateva!
8. Olivia Netwon-John “Xanadu”
RYAN: Love It! (side note: I love everything Olivia Newton-John did back in the day.)
7. Kylie Minogue “Better The Devil You Know”
RYAN: Huh?
6. Pet Shop Boys “Go West”
RYAN: Huh?
5. Kylie Minogue “Your Disco Needs You”
RYAN: Huh?
4. The Weathergirls “It’s Raining Men”
RYAN: Love It! (side note: actually, I just love to torture Toad with this song.)
3. Gloria Gaynor “I Will Survive”
RYAN: Love It!
2. Village People “YMCA”
RYAN: Hate It!
1. ABBA "Dancing Queen"
RYAN: Love It! (side note: but then again, I love all Abba.)
There were some glaring omissions, I think. Andrew Sullivan noted that "Left To My Own Devices" by Pet Shop Boys was not on the list, and I would have to agree that it should have made it.
By the way, love it.
Another guilty pleasure of mine that, to me, smacks of something that should have been on this list is Laura Branigan's "Gloria," which is one of my all-time favorite 1980s songs.
However, all in all, my taste is still all over the place relative to this list. I had 18 Love It!s, 8 Hate It's, 10 Whateva!s and 14 Huh?s.
Where do you fall on this list?
How can you hate Sweet Transvestite but love Xanadu ? I see that as a cry for help. Just say no to drugs. I don't know what you are using, but it is obviously affecting your sense of taste. We are there for you. Think about rehab.
Don't love Xanadu. I love Olivia. On the other hand, I despise the Rocky Horror Picture Show ... however, Toad, I did not know you had a thing for sweet transvestites! Er, I mean that song.
Remember. You were the one who showed me the Oscar De la Hoya drag photos.
And if you were just a little older and grew up a tiny bit more urban, a midnight showing of The Rock Horror Picture Show would have gotten you laid. That would have created at least some affection.
Yes, I showed those photos to you because of your, er, affection for boxing. ;-)
Now, I did go to Rocky Horror once, perhaps twice during college. Of course, adult beverages clouded my recollection of the event itself ...
But in po-dunk Oklahoma, pre-college, we pretty much just went bowling!