How does Madonna stay pop culturally relevant?

By invoking other hot names from the music industry to work on her new album, that's how. Sure, Madge is the biggest female pop star of my lifetime, and -- yes -- she's absolutely still relevant in the music game.

But is her new album, Hard Candy, actually any good? Or is it merely a production piece?

One of the things I look for in any new CD is a musical or lyrical theme, something to cohesively tie it all together. Unfortunately, the first thing I notice about Hard Candy is that it sounds a little bit like Timbaland and a little bit like Pharrell Williams.

Neither sound is bad, but neither is Madonna.

Take the first single from the CD, "4 Minutes To Save The World." Yes, I like it. Yes, the video is cool. But it also sounds like nothing more than a Timbaland production, which can not only become tiresome, it will also be dated in three years.

Song to song, there are a few gems on the CD. Take the chorus from "Candy Shop," which opens the CD. The song is totally unremarkable UNTIL that chorus, when a jazzy-minded Queen of Pop employs some really cool progressions. Well, her producers employed those. Nevertheless, sounds really cool.

The best song on the CD by a mile is "Dance 2Night," a duet with Justin Timberlake, who partners with her on "4 Minutes." It invokes sounds from her days working with Jellybean Benitez, and dare I say it's downright hot. A mega hot track, and it's guaranteed to be a hit.

And if you're a fan of the 80s and that whole vibe, this is the one single to check out on the entire disc. In fact, here's a YouTube video with the music in it:

However, from "Give It 2 Me," to "Heartbeat" to the Pharrell Williams track "Beat Goes On," Madonna's new CD is completely unremarkable. This release comes on the heels on what I thought was her best album in at least a decade if not ever, "Confessions on a Dance Floor," which seriously was a brilliant dance record.

That CD was also well-produced, but it was cohesive, not merely a collection of mostly throw-away singles. Even worse, the singles on Hard Candy are so clearly influenced by others that it comes off as totally derivative.

Take "The Devil Wouldn't Recognize You," which is 100 percent derivative of Justin Timberlake's "What Goes Around ..." On the face of it, it's a good track, but we've come to expect more from Madonna.

So, let's get to the questions ...

1. What grade do you give this album? C+

2. What's the best song on the CD? Dance 2Night

3. Would you buy this CD? Nope. But I might buy "Dance 2Night."