DIRTY PIERRE
c. 2008 Ryan Welton

VERSE 1:
She looked me over like an engine
at a stock car race inspection
She watched me as I sipped my drink
with a gleam of affection

She whispered something to the man
at the end of the bar
And before I knew it, honey
It got crazy bizarre


CHORUS:
They call him Dirty Pierre
They call him Dirty Pierre
Ahh, be there or be square
Just don't mess up his hair
They call him Dirty Pierre


VERSE 2:
He followed me into the bathroom
took the stand-up right beside me
He said that he presumed
His little woman excites me

I asked him what he meant
I have appointments in the morning
He offered me a handshake
Then he offered a warning

CHORUS:
He said I'm Dirty Pierre
Oh yeah, I'm Dirty Pierre
Ahh, be there or be square
Just don't mess my hair
That's right, I'm Dirty Pierre

BRIDGE:
This is when it all gets strange
It all gets kinda tricky
I walk into their house
to the sound of Darling Nikki

It's evident you envision me
as a middle-man of sorts
The completion of your daisy chain
But allow me to retort

I think your wife's a keeper
I'd take her any day
But my hetero persuasion
Won't let you in the way

CHORUS:
But thank you, Dirty Pierre
Ahh, thank you, Dirty Pierre
Not that I am a square
It's a sordid affair
But thank you, Dirty Pierre