The reality-television gods conferred on Tuesday night to bring forth hours of TiVo time-suck.

First, my man Boogie (Mike Malin) won BB All-Stars in a vote that surprised a little. Sure, I noted late last week that I thought he'd win convincingly, but I never expected Howie to vote for the guy.

Everything I have read suggests that this finale sucked turds in terms of the two contestants. However, based on what I know about the game, I can't imagine that either Will Kerby or Mike Malin wouldn't win it again should another All-Stars come up.

Truth is, Will Kerby came out the winner even though he didn't snare a dime of cash because everybody acknowledged that he is the most bad-ass American Big Brother player of all time. And, he's a Clippers fan to boot.

CBS' Rock Star trotted its four finalists for one last rock show, as the kids call it, before Supernova (or whatever they will call themselves after a judge ruled today that they must stop using that name) picks its lead singer. Each of the four finalists played a cover and an original.

In my opinion, the best original of the bunch came from the eliminated contestant who was selected by viewers to return to the show for one encore, Ryan Star. His tune "Back Of My Car" compares quite favorably with any popular, current adult-alternative release.

Of the four finalists, Toby Rand's original, "Throwin' It All Away," is by far the strongest. Each of the others has a flaw, IMHO.

Lukas Rossi's "Head Spin" is terrific musically but, I think, overwrought and simple lyrically.

Dilana's "Super Soul" is self-indulgent and boring.

Magni's "When The Time Comes" isn't bad, even though Tommy Lee didn't care for it, although I'd say that the guitar hook is pretty excellent.

However, we had heard the originals. I don't think anybody improved on their original, except for perhaps Lukas, who did "Head Spin" accompanied only by acoustic guitar.

Besides, they all really pale in comparison to "Back Of My Car."

In terms of the covers, Dilana Robichaux -- from South Africa originally but from Houston for the purposes of the show -- turned The Police's "Roxanne" upside-down, and I mean that in a good way. Keeping the vibe a bit subdued with only acoustic guitars and choosing to have the other contestants sing back-up, which was hailed as a good move by the band members whose band now has no name, Dilana sang the hell out of that song. It was tres excelente.

Even Paula Abdul was there, and might I add that she looked lit out of her gourd? She did. I know, a shock.

Dave Navarro acknowledged her, as did a couple of the rockers. Navarro noted that Paula Abdul knows where to come to hear great singers and that what makes "Rock Star" so special is that these guys get the chance to do original material.

Now, Idol's a different puppy, but Dave's point is right on. I love singers, good ones that is and the really terrible; however, as a songwriter myself, I hold the utmost respect for fellow writers. I don't poo-poo non-writers like many of my fellow non-musical rock fans, but the appreciation still stands.

Anyway, Toby covered a dull Radiohead song that was not called "Creep," and Lukas did a Coldplay tune ("Fix You") that was only mildly more interesting.

Props to Magni though for doing Deep Purple's "Hush," which allowed the excellent Rock Star house band to break out the organ. Dude, nobody busted out some organ like Deep Purple. I still remember buying the cassette that had "Knockin' At Your Back Door" when I was 15 and crankin' it very, very loud.

That was back in my Circus magazine days, back before I realized Rob Halford was a total you-know-what.

Alas, Rock Star in the end comes down to the best fit for the band. I think there is no doubt that Dilana will surface in the band's final two. She's the most talented vocally. However, the best fit for this band in terms of style and energy and looks, not to mention p****-gettin' ability, is Toby Rand.

He'll be your winner Wednesday night.

Lastly -- and I ripped through my TiVo like Oprah does a bag of Cheetos -- I watched ABC's premeire of "Dancing With The Stars."

There's a long way to go in Season 3, but it doesn't appear that anybody comes close to Mario Lopez, and the oddsmakers agree.

While the women danced the ultra-boring foxtrot, the dudes danced the cha cha freakin' cha, which allowed for a bit of funkiness from Emmitt Smith and Joe Lawrence. I can't really peg the women in terms of ability or spark; however, I know I'll be rooting against Sara Evans after it was revealed that Tom DeLay supports her.

The article revealed that "he especially wants her to beat Jerry Springer 'to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television.'"

Dickhead.

However, honestly, Sara's probably the better dancer. On the other hand, she was as conservative and stiff as a Puritan Stepford wife. Jerry needs a little help with the steps, but I'm convinced that people like him. I do at least, and I'll freely admit to watching about 10-15 minutes of his show every couple of months until my white-trash sensors remind me that I don't like that stereotype.

Neither will win though.

I say this bugger comes down to Mario and Emmitt. Deuce-deuce is uber popular, and Mario has the most talent.

We shall see ...