I've never been the biggest carnivore on Earth, but there's no doubt that I am a barbecue snob. Lived in Texas too long. Outside of my love for Golden Corral, I could darn near eat barbecue every day.

So, I had to try Norman's newest barbecue venture, J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q. Heck, for the past two years, I've bemoaned the quality of Oklahoma barbecue joints, so I thought I'd document my experience at J.R.'s and outline what I think makes a barbecue eating experience worthwhile.

Let's call them Ryan's Rules For A Great Barbecue Experience. You can have your rules, and by no means do I think mine are absolute

1. I strongly prefer barbecue joints that have been around for decades.

Not that I won't give new places a try, but a joint like Mikeska's or Dickey's has a giant built-in advantage. Family history.

2. All the meats have to be excellent.

Sometimes I'm a brisket guy, sometimes I'm a smoked turkey. Most of the time, I'm all about the sausage. In fact, when I eat barbecue, I almost always get sausage, and if I get two meats, I end up getting sausage and something else -- maybe ribs.

However, barbecue joints can't just specialize in one meat. They need to excel at all of them. The best sausage I've ever had was Dickey's, and the worst is Van's Pig Stand in Norman, but Van's makes up for it with their beans, which are the best I've ever had. I'll get to that in a moment.

3. Proper sides, please, and plenty of it.

Nothing worse than a barbecue joint that skimps on the sides. Both J.R.'s and Van's are cheap with the sides, putting them in small portioned containers. Places like Dickey's lets you heap it from a cafeteria-style setup like it's going out of style.

Nevertheless, every barbecue joint has to have the basics -- barbecued beans and cole slaw for sure, along with potato salad. However, Dickey's in Texas has cheesy baked potato casserole and broccoli salad. You don't have to have those, but Dickey's proves that great restaurateurs can think outside the box and still be great.

4. Don't ice down the tea.

Sweet tea is vital to the barbecue experience. Mikeska's sweet tea is not only the best I've ever had, it actually is the best drink I have ever had ever in the history of ever. It's unreal. People have asked me what I mean by that, and this is the best I can describe it.

It's smoky. It's rich. It's strong. It's sweet but not overbearing. It's like the tea was barbecued on its own, if that makes any sense. Now, at too many places, you can never tell what the tea really tastes like because they put the tea in pitchers with a bunch of ice, which melts into the tea, diluting everything.

Quit that.

Leave the tea in the pitcher sans ice, and put ice into each glass before pouring tea into it. At J.R.'s today, I didn't taste the tea until the ice had melted an hour after dinner, and guess what: It was pretty good.

5. There is only vital dessert.

You're not a legitimate barbecue joint unless you serve banana pudding with vanilla wafers, and plenty of them. Dickey's was always excellent, but again, Mikeska's was the best.

6. Music matters.

I don't want to hear pop, rock-n-roll, rap, classical or jazz. I want to hear either country or blues. Now, if you go with country, it can't be new pop-country. It needs to be George Strait, Pat Green, Charlie Robison. It needs to be Texas country.

If you can't deal with country, then your musical choice should be blues. I don't mean Robert Cray. I mean an old man playing a guitar and singing about the hell in his life. It's really vital for ambience. Unfortunately, J.R.'s looks so cookie-cutter, so formulaic, and they were playing oldies, which just assured that the place had zero ambience.

Comparatively, in my opinion, Van's in Norman has terrific ambience. Plus, they have characters, like the dude who always tells you jokes in the drive-through. Every barbecue joint has to have one of those guys.

Unfortunately, neither Van's nor J.R.'s is cafeteria-style barbecue. That's the best method for getting the most barbecue value. I like it when I can fix myself a plate, if you will. At J.R.'s today, I spent $13.80 when you count tip, and that's too much -- way too much -- for how much I got.

Good news is that the food was pretty good. Their cole slaw was just about the best I have ever had. There is something unique about their vinager dressing that I can't quite pinpoint, and I thought it was a real victory for them.

Also, J.R's sausage is better than Van's. However, it wasn't great. Pretty generic. J.R.'s beans were very average, and their bread choices were not impressive -- jalapeno cornbread and white bread. Gotta have rolls, and in fact, at Spring Creek Barbecue in Dallas, there is a "roll bar" where you can stock up on rolls if you run out while eating.

Truth is, my only complaint with either J.R.'s or Van's is that it's just too much money for what you get and for the quality. At Dickey's, I could get a sausage dinner for $5.99 with a lot more food, better food, and you're not leaving Van's or J.R.'s without spending $10.

With that said, the service at both J.R.'s and Van's is excellent. In fact, my waiter today was just about the best waiter I've had in ages. I think the guy might be running for Congress as soon as he graduates from college.

I might be a tad hard on them in terms of food and such, but I have had the best barbecue there is, and it's about way more than meat. It's about everything.

If I had to make a choice between the two for future visits, I think I'm still a Van's guy. However, if Dickey's ever gets smart and builds in Norman, you'll never see me set foot in anything but Golden Corral and Dickey's ever again.

And, if I could only get Mikeska's to ship me a jug of their sweet tea.